Dave King’s Devastating Millions

Good Evening.

Disturbing rumours reach Clumpany Towers that Dave King might not have ready access to a whopping great pile of cash. The sort of whopping great pile of cash that could easily be mistaken for a “children’s inheritance” or a bright new future for the samest ‘same club’ in all of Scottish ‘Sameclubdom’.

If confirmed, the absence of such a whopping great pile of cash would be a huge shock, not only for The Clumpany and Sevco fans, but also for any consequently-feeling-light-blue legions in the Scottish sports media who trumpeted Dave King’s Takeover of ‘Rangers’ (in entirely coincidental association with a triumvirate of passing ursine folk) in 2015.

The Clumpany is sure that Dave King definitely has a whopping great pile of cash to spend on Ibrox-based football. Indeed it is a whopping great pile of cash underpinned by staunch Rangers Manliness:

Dear SFA: Please ‘Release the (Dave King) Pounds’…

Lifestyles of the Glib and Shameless

The Clumpany simply cannot come to terms with any scenario in which Dave King might not have readily-available cash to take ‘Rangers’ to glory.

The Clumpany therefore stands with the Scottish sports media in having complete confidence in the ready-to-deploy-in-over-investment nature of Dave King’s whopping great pile of cash. What’s more, The Clumpany is prepared to bow before the ‘coming’ nature of ‘Rangers’ and its triumph-certain follow-followers.

The Clumpany’s only regret at this exciting time is that it cannot see its ethereal self in a mirror to administer the stern-talking to it clearly needs about quite how badly Dave King’s millions are about to grind the rest of Scottish football into dust.

#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…