Lifestyles of the Glib and Shameless

Good Afternoon.

If you haven’t seen Jim White’s ‘exclusive’ ‘interview’ with Dave King yet, please treat yourselves.


Over and over again.

It is – quite simply – magnificent.

For all the wrong reasons. 

As this excellent piece by @MattLeslie74 explains, and as The Clumpany sarcastically commented last night, an absolutely golden chance to ask King probing questions about his plans and war chest, and to highlight inconsistencies in his various public comments was completely squandered.

Although actually that isn’t quite true. “Squandered” implies that there was an opportunity which was wasted.

The truth of the matter is probably that Jim White wouldn’t have got through the gates of Chateau King had he not been there solely to film a puff piece.

This was stage-managed guff out of the top drawer.

A glossy substance-free profile piece that wouldn’t have been out of place in the American series “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” or in the pages of ‘Hello!’ magazine…

Ooh look at the gates of Mr King’s BIG HOUSE!

He must be SO rich!

Look at the size of his wine cellar!

And look at his collection of sports memorabilia! [No, I didn’t spot any Rangers or Sevco material either…]

It’s a wonder that the fawning Mr White didn’t helicopter into the grounds of Dave’s pad, drink a glass of champagne served by a scantily-clad woman, wink at the camera and then prostrate himself at King’s feet.

Maybe next time, eh?

As it was, all we got to hear was how 

  • Mr King had reached an £80m ‘settlement’ with the South African taxman
  • the commercial partnership with Sports Direct doesn’t work for Sevco, and therefore can’t possibly work for His Big Mikeness
  • Mr King is going to discuss this with Sports Direct 
  • Sevco fans need to be outspending Celtic fans in order to ‘return’ Sevco to the top; and
  • Mr King and his ‘co-investors’ will ‘continue’ to fund any financial shortfall until the ‘club’ gets to where it needs to be.

And that was it. No mention of the Sports Direct loan, Nomad, listing or auditor, and no serious questioning about the actual amount of money that has been put into Sevco by the new regime, despite all the previous rhetoric.

And nor did Mr White ask the obvious question about why the King regime hasn’t made any apparent progress in ‘fixing’ the relationship with Sports Direct, despite having been in charge of Sevco for almost 5 months!

Still, at least Mr White looked like he was having a great time. And that’s obviously very important. 

“How come you’re so good, Dave?”

By the end of the ‘interview’, The Clumpany was left wondering whether its architects had actually thought through the image that it might leave with viewers.

Yes Mr King sounded all reasonable and looked like a very rich man indeed.

And that’s nice.

But it practically forces you question why this apparently huge Sevco fan doesn’t actually part with some of his wealth to meet the expectations created by his previous warm words?

It’s curious, isn’t it?


Other recent tidings from Clumpany Towers include:

The Whine Seller

“A Number Of Things Perhaps Not As We Might Wish”

A Sense of Humour