Hang on a minute. Is this translator device working now.?
No, it’s nae working. Or do I mean neigh working?
Ah, maybe it IS working now. Let’s see if I can get this written before the translator breaks down. I guess I’ll just have to write this on the hoof…
F*cking hell it’s hard being a horse. Especially when you get donkeys muscling on in on your territory.
Anyway. Alex Rae. Veteran of an inexplicable number of media outlets, and always seemingly happy to play the role of the world’s only pantomime horse where both ends are an arse. 😉 What’s he like? No one is going to mistake him for a STABLE genius like Donald Trump are they, that’s for sure…
Apparently he said something today about how if the Champion Hurdle was run over the length of his EBT documentation and everyone fell over before the end, there wouldn’t be enough bodies left lying there to cover up the full scale of the cash that could have gone to public services if only dead Rangers had paid a proper share of taxes like everyone else.
Because of Celtic.
To be fair, he has a point. I know this because – as a horse – I know manure when I see it. Although if one of my equine pals produced horsesh*t quite like Mr Rae I’d be telling them to get themselves down to the vet pretty sharpish to have themselves checked out.
Anyway, on to football, as I hear Mr Rae likes to talk about it. On behalf of the horse community I would just like to say neigh! No really. I want to say ‘neigh’. I’ll turn the translator off for that bit or it might get confused and I’ll end up apparently saying some random nonsense like “I can’t see past Rangers* for the title this season”. And no one wants to appear like that much of an idiot in a public forum do they?
As I was saying, I say NEIGH to Alex Rae. I don’t know what he thought he had been watching when he made his comments today, but I can definitively state that no horses have been involved in Scottish football this season. Especially falling ones. Mr Morelos may go down in the box like an attention seeking imposter at the Spanish Riding School, and he may appear to have been eating like a horse of late, but he definitely ISN’T an actual horse.
Some people might say that Mr Rae was making a highly partisan point about stopping Celtic from winning the league because he doesn’t like them and would love to see their march to nine and possibly ten in a row stopped at any cost. But I say that this suggestion can’t possibly be entirely true. Mr Rae doesn’t even know Ann let alone go to any of her parties. 😉
Mr Rae may want to see Celtic deprived of a title through some sort of… err… horseplay however.
On behalf of the entire horse community I would like to conclude by inviting Mr Rae to stick to things he knows about. However I suspect that this suggestion might end up with him wandering round aimlessly with a tube of unused superglue in his hand.😉
So I will simply sign off by saying the following. Hey Rae. Neigh!
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of satirical fun at the expense of the circus that is Scottish football…