Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

Things Which Don’t Count

Nae luck Ronny

Good Evening.

The Clumpany hears disturbing news that the UK economy is teetering on the brink of total collapse and the Chancellor is currently locked in talks with the IMF to secure the Mother, Grandmother, Sister and Aunt of all bailouts to keep the country afloat.

We all know that we live in turbulent times, but the sudden nature of this particular crisis has caught the Government completely by surprise and they are doing their best to keep it under wraps. Which is clearly the reason that you are reading about it in some random Scottish football blog rather than seeing it on the TV news. 😉

The cause of the crisis is Dave King’s perfectly sane and rational suggestion that Celtic’s Scottish league titles won without Rangers* in the top flight don’t count. With the effect that Celtic have currently only won two-in-a-row (assuming that you ignore Rangers* liquidation and escape the medics long enough to state that Sevco is actually the same club as Rangers…).

You might think that Dave King’s claim can be dismissed as the ramblings of a man able to say what the Sevco fan base wants to hear and who is determined to convince them to buy season books. But I am afraid that Her Majesty’s Government doesn’t see it like that in the current climate.

Upon hearing the ‘news’, the Government suddenly realised that other things may be void without Rangers*’ participation.

Such as the tax system.

The Government quickly spotted that the ‘logical’ conclusion of Dave King’s argument is that during the years when Rangers (RIP) were not playing fair and paying their full share of tax (going right back to the Discounted Options Scheme), the tax system was null and void. 😉

That’s year upon year when the Government mistakenly thought it was collecting legitimate revenue, but was instead undertaking a worthless exercise.

That’s hundreds of billions of pounds which were spent on public services which now have to be returned to taxpayers. 

This is a potentially apocalyptic development.

I will bring you further updates as and when they become available.

The Clumpany is also looking into reports that the 2016-17 PFA Scotland Awards will now be declared void as there was no Rangers* presence at them.


And – in a truly mind-boggling development – top Clumpany scientists expect to report soon on whether reality as we know it actually exists, given that no one connected with the latest Ibrox club seems able to acknowledge it. 😉

Their report will be presented next Thursday in Glasgow. Assuming they conclude that time and space actually exist. 

If not, there is no point in thanking you for reading this, as neither you nor I are real.

#KeepOnClumping (If you can)

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…

Media, Satire, Scottish Football

Tanks And Other Reversing Things


Good Evening.

Let us take a moment to ponder a few reversing things…

Number one. Tanks. Possibly those belonging to His Big Mikeness in a metaphorical sort of way:


Two. Front pages that are subsequently backed-away from:

 

Three. ‘Arguments’ made in favour of backing out of the Champions League:


Four. Reversing away from the concept of freedom of speech, even when it involves a piss-poor ‘Rory Bremner’ gag:


Five. Backing away from your usual focus on matters Sevco:


Six. Once again stepping back from your usual focus on matters Sevco:


Seven. When your early-season optimism suffers an epic reversal:



Eight. When you step backwards from journalism and attempt to become a life-coach instead:


Nine. When you suddenly effect an about-turn from suggesting that “it should be a decent game”: It Should Be A Decent Game

Ten. When you reverse out of the realm of analysis and into the realm of outright comedy: 😉


BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

#KeepOnClumping

Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

Dave King’s Finest Hour – A Guest Blog


Good Evening.

In a first for The Clumpany blog, today’s offering is brought to you by a guest writer.

Our very special analyst takes a look at Keith Jackson’s piece in today’s Daily Record. An article in which the eight-and-three-quarter times Journalist of the Year salutes Dave King’s total victory over His Big Mikeness, the ‘ruthless’ head of a multi-billion pound enterprise who clearly got where he is today by bowing and scraping to tax convicts and people undertaking Turner Prize-worthy protests in his shops.

So here is today’s guest blogger…

Meet Gary the Goldfish!

Now, I know what you are thinking.

Gary is a goldfish.

And you are correct in that keenly-observed deduction.

You are also probably thinking that goldfish aren’t very intelligent, have very short memory spans, and can’t read or write.

And you are right to point that out too.

However, none of these things are a barrier to systematically analysing Keith’s latest offering, as Gary is about to demonstrate. 😉

Keith’s article is reproduced below interspersed with Gary’s incisive comments.

Take it away Gary…

>>>>>>

Dave King’s finest Rangers hour and how we exposed the Mike Ashley deals that crippled club – Jackson

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

Record exclusives foiled a fat cat while Rangers chairman won his battle with Sports Direct chief.
[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

There was no mention of it in Dave King’s victory speech on Tuesday afternoon,

[Victory? So what is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

but as the Rangers* chairman announced the terms of the truce between himself and Mike Ashley – prompting a stampede on the club’s megastore – there was an even more significant reason for the club’s supporters to cherish.

[Is it that Big Mike isn’t getting anything out of it? – Gary]

It will all be ratified and made official in good time but Ashley, it appears, is not only loosening his iron-fisted grip on the club’s retail wing. He is also prepared to wash his hands of Rangers once and for all by dumping his personal shareholding of almost nine per cent.

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

And the moment that transaction is completed – when Ashley’s holding is picked up by fans’ groups and perhaps one other wealthy individual emotional investor – then King will have delivered on one of his key manifesto promises … to pull up the drains and cleanse this club from top to bottom.

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it while they are being ‘cleansed’. And did they not think of using bleach instead? – Gary]

King has had his critics on these pages over the last two years or so. He has not reacted well to being questioned or challenged even when his various statements and promises are clearly contradictory and, in some cases, absurdly disingenuous.

[I tell you what would be disingenuous: trumpeting a ‘victory’ for King without telling us what Big Mike is getting out of it – Gary]

But, regardless, let’s give credit where it is most certainly due where this long-running ruck with Ashley is concerned. King promised to fight this fight even if it took him until his last breath and on this crucial matter he has been as good as his word.

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? Has he just ‘surrendered’ and walked away to cry for a thousand years? – Gary]

And now, as a result of his tenacity, when Ashley hands over his shares, finally and at long last a sustained period of internal chaos and mean-spirited ugliness will come to a peaceful conclusion. 

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? And what happens if he doesn’t get it? Are there any ‘terms’ that the all-conquering King regime have to stick to? – Gary]

And, for a variety of reasons where the future for this football club is concerned, King will have scored a potentially game-changing win.

[Really? So what is Big Mike getting out of this new utopia? – Gary]

The removal of Ashley’s shadow will also sever a tie which links Rangers to one of the darkest and most dubious periods in the club’s history, when Charles Green threw open the front doors of Ibrox as if unlocking a sweetie factory and ushered inside all manner of greedy and grubby characters.

[So Big Mike is definitely out of the picture then? He is getting nothing out of his… err… retail deal? – Gary]

This list of individuals took it in turns to gorge themselves on whatever took their fancy. Waved on enthusiastically by a pair of big Yorkshire hands, they scooped up whatever had not been nailed down and emptied the club of millions upon millions of blue pounds.

[Blue pounds? Is that the currency that struggles to find its way to creditors? – Gary]

And no one man brought a bigger wheelbarrow to this ram raid than the man from Sports Direct. He did not become one of the wealthiest entrepreneurs on the planet by failing to spot an opportunity when it presents itself. And Green was willingly handing this one to him on a silver platter.

[Yeah, because brand new businesses normally get to magic up a big retail operation themselves by simply saying ‘wibble’. – Gary]

Ashley, on the other hand, looked at Green and Rangers and saw a chance to screw them into the ground.

[‘Businessman spots opportunity to make a profit by providing a service that someone wants to buy’. It’s like witchcraft! – Gary]

It was Green and his gang of cohorts who welcomed the Newcastle owner and his bulging wallet in like some sort of saviour and with good reason too. It did not matter a jot to Green that Ashley was eyeing up Rangers’ most valuable assets like a lion looking at a raw pound of steak.

[Witchcraft I tell you! – Gary]

No, all that mattered to Green and his group was that Ashley – one of the biggest beasts in the business world – was prepared to have his name linked to their consortium and, by extension, the share issue which they were about to bring to the market in London. If an operator as shrewd as Ashley saw the financial sense in getting on board then all the city was likely to follow him in. And follow, follow they did. To the tune of £22.2million.

[Obviously Green should have ignored Big Mike and done a really shite and unsuccessful share offer rather than allying the new business to a major, highly successful, business with a track record in the City. – Gary]

What they did not realise, however, was that Ashley had already secured himself the sweetest deal of all by agreeing to give Green a sum of around £1m, months ahead of the December launch.

[For any particular reason? Or just for a laugh? Tell us Keith! – Gary]

After that, whatever Ashley wanted, Ashley simply took. 

[Are you suggesting Big Mike committed some sort of theft? – Gary]

This newspaper led the way in exposing a litany of secret deals which Ashley had struck with Green and which highlighted the grotesquely one-sided nature of his relationship with Rangers.

[Ooh, ‘secret deals’. Are they like… err… deals and contracts, and genuinely legal things? – Gary]

When he bought the naming rights of Ibrox Stadium for £1 we uncovered the detail and splashed it all over our back page.

[I love a good splash! Especially in my bowl. But even a goldfish like me can remember the days when a proper Daily Record back page was about billions rather than £1. – Gary]

We further infuriated Ashley’s camp when we revealed to Rangers supporters that the retail deal he had hatched with Green – a contract weighted in the favour of Sports Direct to eye-watering levels – also included a huge seven-year notice period. But he was only just getting started.

[That’s one of those freely-entered-into contract things again, isn’t it? – Gary]

By the time he had shoehorned his own people into the Ibrox boardroom in an attempt to stay in control of the club, Ashley was pretty much running riot behind the scenes – plundering everything he could get his hands on from the club’s badges and crests to ownership of the pitch and even Broxi the Bear.

[“Shoehorned?” Is that the same as ‘people being legitimately appointed to the board of a listed company’? – Gary]

[“Running riot”? “Plundering”? Was he a Viking doing illegal things? – Gary]

Ashley claimed it all as his own in return for a bunch of emergency handouts, some of which had to be forced through by a compliant board – in favour of alternative bailouts from far more friendly figures including Douglas Park and the Three Bears – in the final days and hours leading up to King’s successful coup.

[You mean a legitimately appointed board made a lawful decision to accept loans to keep the lights on, rejecting what they saw as an inferior alternative? Like thousands of other businesses have done before them? More witchcraft! They should have taken the money that the Record preferred!  – Gary]

It was at that point that Ashley’s long-term associate Derek Llambias decreed that this newspaper be barred from the premises. A banning order that we wore with honour.

[To be fair, the Order of the Ibrox Ban looked quite smart on the Record sports desk next to the malfunctioning radar. – Gary]

There is an irony in all of this and it will not be lost on a great deal of those who have observed this car crash most closely.
Now that King is in control he has taken obvious exception whenever this newspaper in particular has sought to hold him to account and live up to his promises of open and transparent governance.

[Do Goldfish cry? And can they hear the mournful sound of violins? I suspect I am about to find out. – Gary]

That is a dangerous, unhealthy form of leadership which smacks of a dictatorial approach. And it has caused him to clash with more than just Ashley and even the Daily Record. His ongoing conflict with the takeover panel provides the most potentially serious evidence of a combative streak which can sometimes do more damage than good to the best interests of his football club.

[Was that a decent point? I do believe it was! I better write it down in case I forget this special moment. – Gary]

But not on this occasion. Where the removal of Ashley is concerned, King’s stubborn dog-with-a-bone approach has proved absolutely crucial.

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

He might remain an absentee chairman for the rest of his time in charge. He might even miss more matches than he’ll ever attend. But, even so, Rangers may never claim a more vital victory than this.

[Yeah, but what is Big Mike getting out of his ‘defeat’? – Gary]

[Seriously. What is Big Mike getting out of it? – Gary]

[Because knowing what Big Mike is getting out of it seems to be a pretty crucial part of the story. And no one benefits from hearing a one-sided story do they? – Gary]

>>>>>>

I am sure all fellow Clumpaneers will join me in thanking Gary the Goldfish for his commentary, and will envy the fact that he has already forgotten ever reading Keith’s column… 😉

#KeepOnClumping

  

Clumpany Matters, Satire

Sale Of The Century

“It’s the Pish of the Week”

Good Evening.

My pal Alan called me earlier today. It was good to hear from him as I haven’t seen him in ages. He was in absolute hysterics  about a conversation he had witnessed in the pub.

A group of friends were talking to a smartly-dressed man. The fellow – who apparently has a string of criminal convictions – told them about “a really good deal he’d got for some old sports gear – football tops and the like.” He said that although the goods weren’t this season’s latest trend, “they were still worth having, and the lads would be doing a good cause a really big favour if they bought them.”

Apparently a bystander at the bar asked the man just how fantastic the deal actually was, and to what extent the ‘good cause’ was going to benefit. He was immediately shouted down by the group of friends. 

He then tried to ask if this sports gear was the stuff he’d heard had been gathering dust in the warehouse of an entrepreneur, who was determined to make money on it, come what may.

The bystander was then called all sorts of names, and so he went back to his pint.

The smart-suited gentleman reassured the fans that this was the greatest deal of all time, but he couldn’t go into the details of it, and he was depending on them to do their duty in supporting a good cause.

Alan – struggling to speak as he guffawed – continued “It was unbelievable. The friends gave him a standing ovation! Some of them were even crying! The local paper was there taking photos for f*ck’s sake! And then they all rushed down the street to buy this stuff without even finishing their drinks, followed by the journalist who was shouting ‘make sure there’s a top left for me’ at them.

“I’ve never seen the like! Grown adults with a hive-like mentality going to buy stuff on the say-so of a convicted criminal without the details of quite how much of a good deal they are getting, or about how much the ‘good cause’ will actually make. They just took his word for it and off they went! 

“I bet the entrepreneur with his warehouse full of dust-covered sports goods can’t believe his luck! He must be thinking ‘kerching, kerching, ker-f*cking-ching’ as he watches the cash roll in!

“You couldn’t make it up! If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible. What an absolute joke!”

I know how Alan feels…

#KeepOnClumping

Champions League, Satire, Scottish Football

Real Madrid: Sold For Scrap

IMG_4360

Good Evening.

Congratulations to Real Madrid on winning the Champions League last night. Using the David King Bullshit-Soundbite Principle, I am delighted to confirm that the presence of Celtic in this year’s competition proper means that Real’s triumph actually counts.

Well done lads!

As you might expect, the victors were delighted at the end of the game. Not only had they become Champions of Europe for 2016-17, but they had also notched up a record-stretching twelfth European Cup/ Champions League title. Whatever you may think about Real Madrid over the years, the cumulative achievement – including three titles in four years – is quite something.

However, I have no doubt that some peddler of pish will soon pipe up and argue that one team dominating makes the competition boring and risks creating a crisis in European football which will see fans walking away.

Because that’s the sort of crap we get to hear about Scottish football from people who really should know better (and indeed who probably do know better) but who hanker after long-discredited sham of a game rather than teams playing by the rules and living within their means.

And these bizarre individuals expect you to buy their papers and listen to/ watch their broadcasts! 😂

What a joke!

But I digress…

Clumpany sources tell me that Real Madrid’s euphoria last night may have been justified, but it was also extremely short-lived. After the players collected the trophy and returned to the dressing room, one of them made the fatal mistake of going online on his phone.

Oh dear.

For when he looked at Twitter he suddenly realised that twelve European titles aren’t really that impressive at all. Because his timeline contained tweets about the world’s most successful club being Rangers, who are ’54 and counting’. Or something.

Ashen-faced, he passed his phone around the dressing room and one by one the players and staff of Real Madrid fell silent as they realised that all their efforts were ultimately worthless.

The Spaniards’ head of media made a few phone calls to check the truth of the tweets. He was eventually and unexpectedly put through to the Scottish offices of noted Spanish football historians Nivel Cinco who told him that yes indeed Rangers are the world’s most successful football club.

As you can imagine, everyone was utterly distraught, and The Clumpany understands that in a fit of pique, Real’s twelve European Cups are now being sent to the scrapyard. No one at the club wants to be associated with the embarrassingly hollow boasts that could be made about all that European silverware when someone else is clearly more successful.

Fair play to them for knowing their place and realising that they are NOT ‘The People’.

However, don’t be fooled into believing that Real Madrid have thrown in the towel completely. The Clumpany hears that their disappointment has served to give them a steely resolve to overcome Rangers in the glory stakes.

Word reaches me that Real’s twelve European Cups will be melted down and refashioned into a giant hand sticking two fingers up in the air. This will then be photographed and copies sent to an army of creditors. Real Madrid will then liquidate, their assets will be reformed into a new club, and Real will claim to have bought enough history (from anyone prepared to sell it) in order to have

  • a large number of domestic cups
  • one European trophy which still smells of the toilet in which it was presented; and
  • 55 domestic league titles.

A compliant media will be expected to pretend it is still the same Real Madrid, the domestic authorities will bite their tongue, and the Real fan base will play their part by hounding anyone who points out that this is a massive intelligence-insulting pisstake.

However, care will be taken to ensure that the single European trophy isn’t a European Cup. 

Because that would blow the entire sham’s cover at a stroke.

After all, it is blindingly obvious that the world’s most successful club wouldn’t ever actually win the Big Cup.

Isn’t it?

#KeepOnClumping

Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

The World’s Staunchest Sevco Fan

IMG_4265

Good Morning.

Not overheard on a bus this morning…

>>>>>>

Billy: “I’m so excited, Billy.”

Billy 2: “Why’s that, Billy.”

Billy: “Have you not seen Billy? Rangers* are coming!”

Billy 2: “Oh aye. I think I’m even more excited than you are Billy.”

Billy: “I doubt that Billy.”

Billy 2: “No, I am MORE excited than you Billy”

Billy: “No you aren’t Billy.”

Billy 2: “Yes I am Billy.”

Billy: “I don’t think you are Billy, you idiot.”

Billy 2: “Are you trying to make something out of it, Billy?”

Billy: “Yes I am pal. I AM more excited than you about Rangers*. No one is more staunch than me in terms of Loyal excitement Billy.”

Billy 2: “Bullshit Billy. I’ve been excited about Rangers’* signings in this transfer window since 1872. And I wasn’t even born then.”

Billy: “Do you want me to punch you? I’ve been excited about these signings since 1690 when King Billy told me how thrilled HE was about them. And I wasn’t born then either.”

Billy 2: “I’d like to see you try and punch me Billy. F*ck you and your substandard excitement about Rangers’* new signings.”

Billy: “It’s like that then, is it Billy? I’m going to have to beat the crap out of you am I?”

Billy 2: “In your dreams Billy mate.”

Billy 3: “Lads! Lads! What’s going on? Why are you shouting?”

Billy: “Oh hi Billy. This f*ckwit says he’s more excited about Rangers’* new signings than I am.”

Billy 2: “Morning Billy. Yes I am. I actually pissed my pants when I heard about them, and I have just soiled myself thinking about them again. My insides are just so excited!”

Billy 3: “Unsurpassed dignity as always Billy. You are a credit to the club. Isn’t he Billy?.”

Billy: “Well maybe he is Billy. In his own way.”

Billy 2: “Cheers Billy. And thanks Billy.”

Billy 3: “No problem Billy. I think we can all agree that Rangers’* new signings are the best Scotland has seen in many a year. And it’s a dream move for the players themselves. They will think all their Christmases have come at once playing in front of the World’s Best Fans and hearing all of our songs!”

Billy: “Aye. I read in the paper that these signings put in place the foundations for Pedro’s new house, Billy.”

Billy 3: “I think it was ‘for a great season ahead’, Billy.”

Billy 2: “Yes that’s right Billy. I read in another paper that it’s a revolution. Like they had in France, Billy.”

Billy: “Brilliant Billy! When do the Tims get guillotined?”

Billy 3: “I think they meant ‘changing the team a lot so we can Go for 55 for real this season‘, Billy.”

Billy 2: “Well that sounds OK too Billy. Are you sure the guillotines are definitely out though?”

Billy 3: “Yes Billy. But mark my words, Rangers ARE coming, and we should be able to smell the fear from everyone else any day now. Rather than the smell of your sh*t-filled trousers.”

Billy 2: “That sounds great Billy. Mr King deserves an apology from everyone who said he wasn’t going to overinvest in the club.”

Billy: “He does Billy. He’s a real Rangers* man who only wants to get us back to where we belong.”

Billy 3: “Well said Billy. And that’s why he is  buying us the very best players. While we sign proven internationals, Celtic have surrendered and gone on holiday. They’ll always be in our shadow.”

Billy 2: “We may have been demoted by the haters in 2012 but we are still the world’s most successful club Billy!”

Billy: “We are Billy! And always will be!”

Billy 3: “Never a truer word spoken Billy! Have you lads bought your season books yet? I renewed straight away because our enemies wouldn’t want me to.”

Billy 2: “Well to be honest I haven’t yet Billy because we were shite last season.”

Billy: “Aye, we were piss poor Billy. I haven’t got my season book yet, but having seen the cash that’s being spent and the players we are signing, I am going to buy five season books!”

Billy 3: “Five, Billy?! You taking all the family next year then? That’s fantastic!”

Billy: “No. Why would I do that Billy? I go to the fitba to get away from them and sing a few traditional songs. I’m getting five season books for me because that’s how excited I am by Pedro’s spending spree, which I read about in the paper.”

Billy 2: “Five? That’s nothing Billy. I am so excited I am getting TEN season books. All for me. No one is more excited than me about Rangers* winning the Treble next year.”

Billy: “Apart from me, Billy.”

Billy 2: “No. I think I proved that I am more excited than you Billy. Now pipe down.”

Billy: “Pipe down? I’ll buy eleven season books then Billy. That’ll show you how excited I am about the coming season and the Gers’* glorious march to the title.”

Billy 2: “Well I will buy twelve and I will buy them on 12th July. It doesn’t come any more staunch than that Billy.”

Billy: “You do want me to punch you don’t you Billy?”

Billy 2: “If you fancy it, you just try Billy.”

Billy: “I will then Billy you b*stard.”

[*Thwack*]

>>>>>>

Billy and Billy were last seen heading to a police station, while Billy called a solicitor to try and get them out.

At the time of writing, no additional Sevco season books have been purchased.

#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…

PS Billy’s previous ‘adventures’ can be found here:

Billy and Chris

Billy and Chris [Part 2]

Celtic, Scottish Cup, Scottish Football

The Hangover From Heaven

IMG_4169

Good Afternoon.

The Clumpany did not enjoy Saturday’s Scottish Cup Final.

It was quite a novel experience to discover that an ethereal entity could feel so sick. I was nervous all morning and then absolutely nauseous throughout the match.

As they did for large parts of the recent league game, Aberdeen worked unbelievably hard, and pressed Celtic (who were undoubtedly not at their best) as no other Scottish team has all season. And on another day Aberdeen might have taken their chances and won the game. [Mind you they also might easily have gone down to ten men during the first half! 😉]

But that didn’t happen, I am delighted to say. Celtic battled and turned the screw as Aberdeen tired, and they somehow found a winning goal in injury time.

It was tough on Aberdeen. I have many Dons on my timeline who are great folk, who give their team fantastic support and who want the same reforms in the governance of our game as large numbers of Celtic fans. It was hard for me not to feel some sympathy for them as their side went down at the death like that.

Some sympathy.

Because as the state of my ethereal stomach attested, I would have been absolutely mortified if Aberdeen had won. Having gone through the league unbeaten, won the League Cup and arrived at the threshold of an Invincible Treble – a feat never likely to be repeated – it would have been demoralising to see it snatched away. Brendan Rodgers and his team have performed brilliantly this season, and they totally deserved their place in history.

Anyone who suggests that winning trophies must be meaningless to Celtic fans given the club’s resources and track record can quite frankly take a running jump. Saturday was absolutely excruciating, and the joy of prevailing was exquisite, just as it was after the League Cup Final and after Celtic clinched the title against Hearts.

Mind you, the agony was nothing compared to the experience of the monumental hangover endured by The Clumpany on Sunday.  I can only assume that my 15th Buckie and Bleach on Saturday night was a ‘bad pint’.

He was sneered at, but Derek McInnes was probably correct in his pre-match comments/ ‘mind games’. There could have been a lingering sense of anticlimax about a great season had Celtic lost the Scottish Cup final. And personally I think the last thing they deserved was an anticlimax.

Celtic have been relentless this season. Relentless even when the flair for which they have been applauded was absent and they simply had to grind out results from somewhere.

For me, one of the best indicators of their unrelenting efforts this season is their December results: eight league games, eight wins, plus a Champions League draw at Manchester City.

Simply magnificent.

Others will write detailed analyses of this historic season and the contribution of various players (for me the rejuvenated Scott Brown was the standout across the season, but I am happy to hear the arguments for others). The work of Brendan Rodgers and his backroom staff who have performed a near-miracle with (mainly) Ronny Deila’s team will also receive forensic coverage.

However, I simply wanted to say well done and thank you to all concerned, including the Celtic board who made the Rodgers appointment happen, and the fans who were magnificent every step of the way, and who heeded the manager’s call for patience at the start of the season.

It is not an exaggeration to say that the 2016-17 campaign was a worthy tribute to the Lisbon Lions, the 50th anniversary of whose European Cup triumph was recently celebrated in such fantastic style.

The Lisbon Lions: How To Live Forever

I will mention the defeats to Lincoln Red Imps and Barcelona in Europe because they ARE part of the story of the season – and uncomfortable parts too. Ultimately however, the thing to take away from them is that they were not THE story of the season. They happened and they were bad moments. But they didn’t define Celtic’s campaign. The Hoops made the Champions League group stages for the first time in three years (which most of us would have defined as a huge success before the start of the season) and got three creditable draws, including a 3-3 draw against Manchester City on one of THOSE epic nights at Celtic Park. Not only did Celtic pick up a point that evening, they also showed a host of Premier League teams how to play against the previously-imperious Pep Guardiola’s side, whose season was never quite the same again.

This season was one of progress for Celtic. Lots and lots of progress, which amazingly included winning an unbeaten Treble.

An. Unbeaten. Treble.

What can they possibly do for an encore?

Well, Rodgers’ every utterance speaks about development and building for the future so it seems highly unlikely that Celtic will rest on their laurels. Champions League football with group stage wins and a longer European campaign would be amazing, but let us be in no doubt about quite how difficult that will be to achieve.

For now however, let’s take a moment to pause and salute the undefeated domestic treble-winning Champions of Scotland, who did it playing the Celtic way.

We may never see the like again.

But I hope we do, and I am sure that Brendan and everyone at the club will give it their very best shot.

#KeepOnClumping