I am sure that I haven’t read this in an attempted newspaper somewhere…
Steven Gerrard Begs For Walter’s Help
The Champions League-winning Champions League winner has probably indicated that he would break every bone in his body with an iron bar for the chance to benefit from the unique Rangers*-tastic insights that Walter Smith could offer.
By A. Tired-Formula.
Steven Gerrard suggested yesterday that he would be looking to benefit from the tremendous experience and coaching brilliance of one of his predecessors* as Rangers* manager.
The legendary Liverpool legend has made a lightening-fast start to his Ibrox tenure by signing more players than you can shake a stick at while shouting “are those really the sort of players he expected to be recruiting?”
Now Gerrard seems set to seek advice from one of the all-time Ibrox managerial greats as he moulds his squad into a hopefully all-conquering force.
When repeatedly asked a series of leading questions which always got the right response from his predecessors, Gerrard said “Ah you want me to play up the Rangersness of what I am doing.
“You want me to say that Walter Smith is an absolute legend at this club* and I will be seeking his advice as we prepare for the new season.
“Well, I am happy to say that sort of thing if it helps.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a Liverpool fan I loved what he did at Everton. I have absolutely massive respect for what he achieved there. I’ve never laughed so long and hard in all my life!
“I’ve no real opinion on how Walter – you do like to use his first name don’t you – got on at Rangers*. But I’ve been told by the club Traynor that the mere mention of his name makes your lives easier, and appeals to your alleged readers.
“So yes, I’d love to speak to Walter about managing Rangers*. I might even bring a few old Everton season review videos for us to watch together. It’ll be magic.”
When asked about Gerrard’s comments, a Sevco fan uttered the words “Ah Walter…”, drooled for several hours, and became so misty-eyed that their optician issued a weather-warning.
NB Remember folks. It’s just a bit of fun…