The Clumpany is beside itself with ecstasy to confirm something about which no one was speculating. It is actively seeking a partner, or partners (because its diversity policy means that plurals are always welcome, even if some folk seem to enjoy being up to their knees in singulars) to be the ethereal entity’s Official ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ Maker.
The partnership will be multi-season and cover spring, summer and possibly autumn and winter too if His Big Mikeness allows it.
The Clumpany’s Head of Marketing Alan commented: “Hey! I’m over here. Can’t you see me? Oh… Anyway, we are dancing a non-Irish jig with delirious euphoria at being able to inform the Universe that we shall be engaging with absolutely anyone prepared to take on the job of making stylish but practical clothing for an Emperor we know. Really. Honestly.
“The Clumpany wants people or People to come into its new shop or log on to its website and buy top quality sports clothes which are fit for an Emperor. As a market leading brand, The Clumpany wants the clothes to break new boundaries of skin breathability and lightweight feel. In fact it wants them to appear completely invisible to the naked eye. To keep costs down.”
The timing of the potential partnership coincides with the relaunch of the T̶i̶t̶a̶n̶i̶c̶ Clumpany website which will henceforth only use the comic sans font. Also, we will be putting new batteries in The Clumpany’s cheap market-bought watch later tonight, so we can confidently and randomly mention having a digital transformation strategy.
The opportunity – no really, it’s an opportunity – includes the ability to operate shops and concessions (or ‘surrenders’ as we don’t like to call them).
Furthermore, The Clumpany will celebrate Alan’s landmark 150th Birthday in 2022. This provides a unique opportunity for our new partner to join us in deploying made up anniveraries as a marketing strategy.
For more information please see Alan. If you can…
>>>>>>
Meanwhile… Rangers* Enter Market For Kit & Retail Partner 😉
#KeepOnClumping
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of satirical fun…
The Clumpany 