Hello.
I’m Kevin Thomson. The man who puts the cocoa into co-commentary. Seriously, five minutes of me droning on and you’ll be asleep.
It’s definitely cocoa. Not Horlicks. Horlicks is what Rangers* are making of their season. Although speaking for myself, I like a glass of water before bed. Water is wet. There’s no doubt about that. You’ve got to be disappointed if you pour yourself a glass of sand to drink. If you want to make the step up to big time, bedtime refreshment you’ve got to have a glass of water. And really savour it. You’ve worked hard to get that glass out of the cupboard. You’ve turned the tap on and put just the right amount of water in. Then you’ve turned the tap off. Not too tight so the next person has to struggle to turn it on. You’ve turned it off just right. But if I’m honest you can’t really coach the best way to turn off a tap. The best tap turners-off have a natural gift.
Anyway, as I was saying, Rangers* are playing so badly these days that I’d go as far as to say they are playing badly. I don’t know why that is, because insight is something that happens to other people, but I can say some downbeat words on the TV while watching them play.
Rangers* have got to do better than this.
See, I told you I could say some words. I shook my head at the same time too.
Rangers* aren’t getting the ball into the right areas. The Costa Del Sol. That’s a right area. Some great beaches. I had a nice holiday there a few years ago. But that’s not the sort of right area Rangers* need to get the ball into just now.
Football’s all about finding the channels. The battery ran out in my TV remote control last week and I couldn’t find the channels I wanted. I ended up watching a documentary about boring machines. A pal of mine said I should have been in it. I don’t know what he meant.
The fans deserve better than what they’ve seen from Rangers* this season. The board backed the manager. I don’t know what they backed him into but they backed him and now he’s gone.
People ask how Rangers* can improve. It’s simple really. They need to get better. They need to stop underperforming and start performing instead. If you can’t perform you won’t perform and your performance will suffer. So start performing.
And have a glass of water before bed. Show your quality, fill it well and turn the tap off just right. The season will then take care of itself.
#KeepOnClumping
[NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun]
The Clumpany 