Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

The Sevco Used Car Showroom

Good Evening.

The Clumpany spotted the following ‘advert’ in one of today’s papers…


Sevco Used Car Sales’ January Extravaganza!

Roll up! Roll up! It’s January Sale time at the Sevco Used Car Showroom!
We’ve got all manner of delights to tempt you, no matter what your budget*. [*Although if you don’t want to be seen shopping in the bargain basement we politely recommend that you try the Parkhead Premium Porsche Dealership instead. But don’t say that we sent you…]

We’ve got bangers, we’ve got mediocre motors which will only let you down frequently, and we’ve got some truly vintage models in need of a little TLC. And engines. And wheels.

All vehicles are fully taxed (REALLY) and come with complimentary, fully-functioning choke. What’s more, our special 19-point checks will guarantee that others will leave you trailing in their wake!

To misquote legendary Rangers fan Henry Ford, who was probably a big pal of Bill Struth: “you can have any automobile you want, as long as its crap!”.

Everything must go because we need the cash! You make us an offer, and the chances are that we will say YES! Cash only please. No credit cards or payment by instalments. Or refunds.

All complaints should be directed to our dedicated waste paper basket on the moon, and our owner is not available to deal with complaints in person.

Today’s special discounted offer is the Barrie McKay 2012 which motoring expert Kenny Shiels has described as “the most exciting car in Scotland, a reliable runner – at least for the first thirty minutes – and destined to end up in England. As long as everyone pushes it hard enough”.

Be sure to pick up your copy of tomorrow’s paper to see the next barely-starting starlet we are trying to punt!


Any takers?

Thanks @sneckietim!


NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…