Good Evening.
Word reaches Clumpany Towers of a troubling – if fictitious – post on a completely hypothetical Sevconian message board. 😉
Please don’t read this if you are of a nervous disposition.
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Kieran Tierney and the Mhanky Mob
Posted – 20:12 hrs on [insert any date in a bygone age]
Fuck me I am raging! It’s bad enough that the Tims got us demoted and are claiming their tainted titles are anything like our 54. It’s also outrageous that Liewell has bribed the SFA to make Tierney captain so he can make a few more quid to shovel into Desmond’s pockets when they sell him.
And it’s a disgrace that the Fenian press are bowing and scraping to the Co-op Dome by pretending Tierney is any good.
I can also imagine that when that fucking Sellick hotel opens, Glasgow fucking Council will build a monorail to it, and all the trains will have Tierney’s fucking grinning face on the side. State aid literally laughing in our faces.
I can’t believe our club is standing idly by in the face of this corruption. Who is this fucking Tierney? You’d think from all the hype he was a hero or something. The only hero he is like is Robin fucking Hood. A symbol of those who should know their place stealing from their betters. Fuck him and his club with their offside Lisbon goals.
However I didn’t even come on here to complain about any of that. But I am so fucking angry I couldn’t help myself. I actually came on here to complain about something else that Tierney has done.Â
A mate of mine who knows a few of the unwashed tells me that Tierney had the chance to get a puppy but chose a kitten instead! Apparently a kitten wouldn’t need taking out and so was an easier option.
Fuck him! How disrespectful to our armed forces can you be? Especially at this time of year. How disgusting do you have to be to avoid displaying a puppy with pride?
Fuck the little cat. And fuck Tierney.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just blame Tierney for this. This is really down to the club he plays for. They are always too embarrassed to display a puppy. Instead they make a conscience-saving donation to a dogs’ home every year.
They are fooling no one.
I bet they ban the players from watching Crufts every year and make them watch ‘Top Cat’ instead.
It’s disgusting. But rest assured fellow bears, I will be maintaining staunch standards. I’ve got a Pit Bull terrier puppy called ‘Dignity’ that I will be wearing with pride. And anyone who tries to tell me it’s inappropriate can get tae fuck.
It’s all about showing proper respect and making sure everyone else knows that they need to live up to our standards, isn’t it?
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If you think the above is ridiculous, try this… Celtic hit back over claims they photoshopped Kieran Tierney picture to remove his poppy
And for anyone on a crusade to be offended, I suggest you now read my previous blog… Oh No! Not A Poppy Blog…
#KeepOnClumping
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…
The Clumpany 