Not appearing in a Sunday newspaper any time soon. 😉
The Sunday Newspapers Love Being Published On A Sunday But Need To Move To Fulfil Their Potential
The Clumpany reckons that the Scottish Sunday papers would love to stick around in their ‘second half of the weekend’ slot, but deep down they know that they need to test themselves elsewhere.
By T. Clumpany
The Clumpany has long felt that while they might be well-established and comfortable in their traditional slot, the Sunday papers were always likely to have to contemplate a move that would take them out of their comfort zone.
I would like to make it clear that I do not subscribe to the view of my good pal Alan (who I still haven’t seen in ages) that the entire mainstream media should just “piss off into oblivion”. That seems an unnecessarily harsh perspective (and no, I don’t say that because I think they should f*ck off to oblivion instead. 😉).
No, I feel confident that Scotland’s Sunday papers still have a contribution to make towards our understanding of world events and the sport we love. However, I have no doubt that those responsible for them know deep down that they are ready for a fresh challenge.
It is perhaps unfortunate for them that the challenge may have come knocking on their door sooner than they expected. Or, to be more precise, knocking and then dragging them out of the house before bundling them into the back of a van. But there is no accounting for events overtaking you.
So the choice now facing the Scottish Sunday papers is whether to cling on to the same old routine and an all-too-familiar environment like a house guest who has so far outstayed their welcome that you don’t know whether to call them a taxi or a hearse. Or to instead make a bold move and seize an exciting new opportunity.
The Clumpany can now exclusively reveal that the Scottish Sunday papers are about to be offered a move to a different day, courtesy of the generosity of the Bampot Community. The fine details of the offer are yet to be hammered out but The Clumpany feels sure that these papers will end up much better appreciated if they take up the challenge.
The day on offer is the 29th February, and to sweeten the deal the Bampot Community accepts that the papers could still be published when it falls on a Sunday. With 100 years’ notice.
Oh yes, and that’s the 29th February on (or up?) Uranus.
What’s it to be lads? Wasting away where you are in Scottish Sundays, or going for something more challenging?
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of satirical fun…