Media, Satire, Scottish Football

The World’s Most Ludicrous Bridge

The World’s Most Ludicrous Bridge

Experts have today slammed an “absolutely ridiculous” scheme to build the world’s longest bridge.

By A. Fantasy-Crossing

An attempt to construct a link between two distant places has been blasted by almost everyone who has heard about it. Plans for the bridge emerged in the media this morning, and sparked widespread incredulity and questions about sanity and value for money.

Efforts to deliver the ambitious link are still at an early stage, but those responsible are optimistic.

“People might be sceptical, but we can do this!” said the project leader. “We are proud of our work and are not afraid to tell everyone! Bring on the bridge!”

Others however were unimpressed. “What the hell is this crap?” said one member of the public when told of the scheme. “What a waste of time, effort and cash.”

“Haven’t they got anything better to do?” said another. “We need this Fantasy Island stuff like a hole in the head. I for one don’t believe any serious person would ever want to cross that bridge.”

But the project leader remained undeterred. “I don’t care what the naysayers think. This bridge is necessary and I am sure everyone will believe in it if they can just put aside their prejudice and listen to what I have to say.”

No completion date has been announced for the bridge, which will attempt to cross the yawning chasm between what happened in 2012 and what some of those involved now claim occurred. To be known as ‘The Scottish Sports Media/ Craig Whyte Revisionism Bridge’, thousands of Sevcopath experts have put good money on the crossing failing on the basis that “it seems like an intelligence-insulting pile of sh*te”.

Meanwhile, there was also something in the news today about a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland.

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NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of satirical fun…