Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

A Handy Guide To The Latest Sevco Accounts

Good Evening.

Yes I know that the accounts published last week were those of RIFC, which is different to the engine room subsidiary once known as Sevco Scotland (or is it Sevco 5088?!).

I also know that RIFC is different to the ethereal ‘football club’ which UEFA will tell you is actually the legal entity once known as Sevco Scotland (or Sevco 5088?!), but NEVER to be mistaken for the club incorporated shortly before Queen Victoria passed away.

However, I wanted to refer to ‘Sevco’ in the title of this blog to cater for the possibility that Martin Williams might read this. And if he does, I would like him to note quite how much we are still laughing at his liquidation-denying Herald output.

Oh, and I also wanted to ask Martin if his fleet-footedness has yet secured him a gig with the Bolshoi Ballet. After all, if he can’t play a lead role in Swan Lake there must surely be an ironic bit-part for him as a dead-but-allegedly-still-living Norwegian Blue parrot.

Mustn’t there?

But I digress.

The main point of this attempted blog was simply to warn regular readers to continue to look out for a few potential pieces of misdirection which might cause them to think that all is well with the recent ‘Sevco’ accounts…

‘Turnover’ most certainly does not refer to what Sevco have done to Sports Direct in the courts.

‘Operating loss’ does not refer to a Glasgow surgeon who misplaced his Ibrox season book.

‘Going Concern warning’ is NOT an alert about an unreliable coach company.

‘Converting loans to equity’ does not imply a money-spinning convoluted player transfer to the actors’ trade union.

‘Concert party’ does not relate to a mistaken request from the Takeover Panel to borrow a box set of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum from Dave King.

‘Repaying the fans’ loyalty’ most certainly does not imply a refund.

I hope that clarifies matters.

#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…