Good Evening. [It’s been a while…]
Here is some ‘news’ that you won’t read in tomorrow’s papers…
The Rangers* Bus Falls Short
The four-wheeled wonder somehow fell short of our shamelessly-exaggerated ‘expectations’.
By A. Hype-Fest
Rangers* fans were today left reeling by the news (which they somehow never saw coming) that the team’s new bus isn’t actually going to be a perpetual motion machine which will solve the world’s energy crisis and save the environment while also delivering a reliable run to an away fixture in Dundee.
Rumours had abounded that Rangers* were about to acquire a bus that would change the world by proving that cheap, inexhaustible energy was available to everyone, whilst also generating the funds to deliver multiple Champions League titles to Ibrox.
Sadly however, these rumours proved to be unfounded, with the Rangers* team actually being set to hitchhike to games next season, and the world as a whole being left with no choice but to burn itself to a fossil fuel-based cinder.
Rangers* fan Billy McGuillibly expressed the disappointment of many fans at the news.
“Fuck the environment. Stevie G is here for 55 and he needs the money generated by the bus-based creation of an unlimited source of energy.
“How can the papers treat me like this with their bullshit stories of perpetual motion machines and untold riches?
“I’m going to write a complaint on the back of this season ticket that I just bought.”
“What sort of idiot do they take me for?”
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…