Satire, Scottish Football, SFA

Alex McLeish Isn’t Desperate

Good Evening.

I had a call from my good pal Alan today. It was nice to hear from him as I haven’t seen him in ages. 😉

He was excited because he had seen Alex McLeish as he was walking past Hampden Park, and he wanted to tell me about a conversation he’d overheard between McLeish and a passing football fan.

Alan said he was happy for me to pass on the details to the Clumping community on strict condition that I made it absolutely clear that McLeish is NOT desperate to be the next Scotland manager.

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Fan: “Hi Alex. Good to see you! You here at Hampden for an interview to be the next Scotland manager?”

McLeish: “Errr no. I was just passing. Although I am open to the idea of doing the job again.”

Fan: “Only I have seen you all over the papers talking about it..”

McLeish: Being in all the papers talking about a magnificent post that any Scot would be proud to fill does not mean I really want it. I am simply open to the idea.”

Fan: “But you must fancy it? All that travel, prestige and the big salary!”

McLeish:I wouldn’t describe myself as closed to the idea. In fact I am open to it.”

Fan: “And then there’s your EBT tax bill to pay. That must be a good few quid. A tidy number like the Scotland job would be a godsend for you right now wouldn’t it?”

McLeish: [*Glares*]

Fan: “Ach, I’m only joking big man. The club probably indemnified you against the bill didn’t they? Not that terrible holding company thing . But you must be quite tempted to replace wee Gordon? In fact I can’t blame you for being well up for it!”

McLeish: “I wouldn’t say I was up for it. Or down.”

Fan:Of course not. You’ve done ‘down’ before though, haven’t you? Heading down south, for example, to take the Birmingham job when you were manager of that northern place… What was it called? Ah yes! Scotland! When you were manager of Scotland.”

McLeish: “I’ve moved around and I am always open to possibilities. Such as being the manager of Scotland.”

Fan:Admit it man! You’re desperate for that job! You can’t wait to start!”

McLeish: “I’m not desperate. I am merely open to the possibility of taking the role if asked. I am quite relaxed about it.”

Fan: I see you are wearing a full Scotland kit and carrying bagpipes outside Hampden, Alex. You are really keen aren’t you?”

McLeish: “I’m not keen. But I am certainly open to the truly wonderful post should it be presented to me like manna from Heaven.”

Fan: “So what’s with the outfit then? You look like you are embarrassing yourself in a shameless bid to get the top job.”

McLeish: This outfit? Oh this is just the first thing I grabbed out of the wardrobe this morning. It isn’t trying to issue a forlorn plea to the wonderful SFA Board to come and get me.”

Fan: “Are you certain about that?”

McLeish: “Of course. Although I remain open to all managing-Scotland possibilities.”

Fan: “So that wasn’t you polishing Stewart Regan’s car this morning?”

McLeish: “I am open to polishing Scotland’s fortunes and getting them to Euro 2020.”

Fan: “And that wasn’t you throwing rose petals in front of Rod Petrie and Alan McRae as they walked through the car park earlier?”

McLeish:I am open to helping Scotland to come up smelling of roses. If asked.”

Fan: “So you are absolutely, definitely, NOT desperate to become Scotland manager and will NOT publicly embarrass yourself in pursuit of the job, Alex?”

McLeish: “Absolutely not”.

Fan: “So it will be no biggie if the SFA tells you to p*ss off and gives the job to Malky Mckay on a permanent basis instead?”

And at that point, it turned out that Alex McLeish WAS open to crying like a baby in public…

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Let’s all thank Alan for the update!

#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…