Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

The Charge Of The Shite Brigade

Good Afternoon.

The Clumpany has been highly amused by the efforts of the Sevco spin machine to suggest that although they may have recently missed out on securing the services of Hearts’ Jamie Walker, it was a glorious ‘failure’, with Sevco fighting valiantly and emerging from the saga with their ‘heroic’ reputation intact.

However, I would be very surprised to see any mainstream outlet publish the following ‘epic’ ode to their endeavours…

>>>>>>

The Charge of the Shite Brigade

Half a mill, half a mill,
Half a million offered,
All in the Window of Transfer
Bid, but Ped blundered.
“Forward, the Spin Brigade!
Charges for PR!”
Jim said.
Into the Window Transfer
Bid, but Ped blundered.

“Forward, the Spin Brigade!”
Was J. Walker dismayed?
Not though the Jambo knew
Bold Ped had blundered.
Offer not worth reply,
Offer makes you ask “why?”
Offer Budge left to die.
Into the Window Transfer
Bid, but Ped blundered.

Record to right of them,
Shark-Jump to left of them,
Walker in front of them
Dodoo offer. Scunnered!;
Instalment plan, all is not well,
Lacking cash, what a smell,
Into the Window Transfer.
Into Sky’s ‘White crap’ hell
Bid, but Ped blundered.

Flashed all their wallets bare,
Flashed as they offered thin air,
Savouring the media’s glare,
Charging at Walker, while
All Bampots wondered.
Plunged in spin’s mirrors and smoke
No real story was broke;
Cheering and pushing
Reeled from the fatal stroke!
Battered spin sundered.
Then they rowed back, but hid
“Bid, but Ped blundered”.

Record to right of them,
Shark-Jump to left of them,
Walker in front of them
Dodoo offer. Scunnered!
Instalment plan, all is not well,
While the Walker bid fell.
They who had spun so well
Came through Window Transfer
Back from Sky’s ‘White Crap’ hell,
All that was left of it,
Bid, but Ped blundered.

When will their bullsh*t fade?
O PR charge they made!
All Bampots wondered.
Honour the PR they made!
Honour the Spin Brigade,
Bid, but Ped blundered!

>>>>>>

With apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, here is the original:

The Charge of the Light Brigade

#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…