Celtic, Media, Scottish Football

A Question For Gordon Parks

Patrick Roberts was delighted to be given the coveted ‘GIRUY Sunday Mail’ slot in the Celtic squad

Good Evening.

The Clumpany is thinking of opening an extensive new footballing facility in one of Scotland’s barren wastelands. It will be a footballing facility in which shite performers can struggle at no more than a Sunday League standard. I am thinking calling it The ‘Gordon’ Parks. 😉

Why? Well, like many of you, The Clumpany guffawed its way through this truly remarkable piece from the Funday Fail’s Gordon Parks.

Celtic star Patrick Roberts has shown a lack of ambition by returning to Scotland – Gordon Parks

Seriously, the apparent tears in that article are so sweet that they may actually attract a swarm of bees.

Watch out Gordon!

A cynical (and possibly accurate) assessment would be that Parks was simply writing clickbait to get a reaction. If that is the case, then so be it. But it would certainly give you no choice but to marvel at the depths the Mail/Record is prepared to plumb in order to get any sort of attention these days

Conversely, if the piece really was Parks’ honestly-held personal opinion, it would certainly give you no choice but to marvel at the depths the Mail/Record is prepared to plumb in order to get any sort of attention these days…

‘Shite’ is not the word for it.

The words “Champions League games aside” are so spectacular as to be deserving of everlasting infamy. They were the equivalent of writing “I know my point is a complete pile of crap, but I am going to make it anyway”. That takes some nerve, or the complete removal of your senses of self-awareness and self-respect.

Dear me.

The Clumpany has a strong urge to ask Parks why Manchester City allowed Patrick Roberts to go back to Celtic if his career, progression and value are going to stagnate or even deteriorate by going back to Celtic.

I’d also like to hear Parks pontificate on the positives for Scottish football in having a talent like Roberts in its midst.

And – given the chance – I would also be minded to enquire what Roberts or his representative said to Parks when he put the concerns outlined his piece to them…

However, I will simply limit myself to this question instead:

Gordon, your article paints a pretty bleak picture of the state of Scottish football, which Patrick Roberts and his parent club have signed up to for another season. In fact it’s an absolutely scathing assessment. What specific things about domestic Scottish football would need to be different in order for you to say that Patrick Roberts has made a great, progressive career move in committing one year of his career to Celtic?

I wonder what his answer could possibly be?

#KeepOnClumping