Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

How The Daily Record Changed The World

Good Morning.

The Clumpany doesn’t usually associate the sports output of the Daily Record with innovation.

Or news.

Or hard-hitting journalism.

Or having the Companies House phone number to hand.

Or much of anything really. 😉

“Off the radar” wealth, “all eleven Rangers players assaulted or spat on at Hampden”, “Thugs and thieves”, an epic love-in with David Murray – YES!

Innovation and other impressive endeavours – NO!

However, fair play to them for blowing me away with their spectacular new creation.

It’s called a “Tearcast”. It is like a podcast but you can actually see the tears of the featured person trickling out of your speakers as they embarrass themselves.

And here is their prototype “Tearcast” featuring the anguished communication of the Record’s very own Gary Ralston:

Gary Ralston says “Waaaaaah”[Link via @gibbygibbo1]

Isn’t that absolutely delicious? In fact it is so delicious that I am thinking of making it the main course at a Bampots’ Banquet at Clumpany Towers.

Long-suffering readers will recall that Gary famously “lost his relationship” with Sevco last year and The Clumpany ended up organising a vigil for him during that difficult time.

A Vigil For The Daily Record

And then I organised a search party.

An Appeal For The Missing

Well, the evidence of his “Tearcast” certainly suggests that he has reestablished his relationship.

Bless him, arguing that Sevco should cut Celtic’s allocation for Ibrox so more of the Light Blue Legions can back the Caixinha Calamities, and so that they don’t have to listen to the gloating of the Celtic fans!

Where was this concern before? And why doesn’t he instead suggest that Sevco improve their on-pitch performance next time the sides meet?

Could it possibly be that Gary (and others) can’t handle the prospect of a dominant Celtic crushing the latest Ibrox club at home once again?

Or is it simply the case that Gary takes a really long time to come up with ideas and this one has genuinely been formulating since the days when… err… Rangers (IL) were racking up 9-in-a-row while Celtic languished in a terrible state?

I’ll leave you to make up your own mind and savour those sweet sweet tears.


NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…