Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

Skeletor Could Be The Man To Fix Things Says Kris Void


Good Evening.

Not appearing in the Sunday column of noted limbo-dancer Kris Void anytime soon…

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Skeletor Could Be The Man To Fix Things Says Kris Void

The people of Eternia loathe him for causing chaos, but Skeletor could be just the man to transform the fortunes of Rangers* says Kris Void.

Some Gers* fans can’t even bring themselves to look at the league table these days as things get worse for their side, and the gap to Celtic gets bigger. So now it may be time for a dramatic shake-up in the boardroom.

Skeletor has the potential to make all their troubles go away with his evil nature, wicked plans and army of mutant sidekicks.

I know some Rangers* fans will be worried about the prospect of a fictional cartoon villain taking control of that magnificent institution, but it can’t be any worse than what they currently have, and it might even turn out to be a better bet for an exciting, maniacal laughter-filled future.

And what my old club needs right now is someone who can unlock the secrets of Castle Grayskull and possibly find its deeds. They might then be able to get a mortgage on it and buy some better players.

It has to be worth a try.

Because the way I see it, He-Man needs to be crushed underfoot, and Rangers* need a new team. Skeletor could kill two birds with one stone.

I have to hold up my hands and say I backed Dave King when he took over the club two years ago. But he hasn’t delivered on his promises and things seem to be going backwards.

Skeletor can bring some strong leadership to the table and will command respect from the rest of Scottish football.

And having a base in Eternia would be a great advantage if the lads get drawn against a side from there in the Europa League.

Skeletor himself is a well-known Bluenose, despite not having a nose, and a successful Rangers* can help to raise his own profile as he tries to undertake a war of conquest. He might also fancy sitting on a few SFA committees where the club has been unrepresented for several years.

I honestly don’t see any down sides to this idea. It’s a clear win-win.

Apart from if Skeletor’s half-baked plans come unstuck because of incompetence and lack of resources, and everyone associated with him ends up being humiliated. As usual.

But this is Rangers*, and that sort of thing could never happen, could it?

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And if you think that the above idea is ridiculous, check out this one…


#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…