Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco, SFA

Dave King And Stewart Regan: The Truth

Good Evening.

The Clumpany has obtained a transcript of the meeting which Dave King and Stewart Regan held last week when the Sevco Supremo seemingly jetted in to Glasgow for the Craig Whyte court case, only to be stood down. A meeting which was belatedly reported by Roddy Forsyth in today’s Telegraph, and which took place against the backdrop of:

  • The ‘going concern’ warning in Sevco’s accounts.
  • Sevco’s need for a UEFA licence.
  • Dave King facing a Court of Session hearing in which the Takeover Panel will seek enforcement action following his failure to make an offer for RIFC shares not owned by the concert party he is deemed to have led.
  • Sevco facing potentially costly further litigation about their commercial relationship with Sports Direct. 
  • The Craig White trial, which may relate to a different ‘club’, but which still creates waves for the latest Ibrox outfit.
  • Questions being asked about the state of Ibrox.
  • Etc etc etc

So here is the transcript of the meeting, which was passed to The Clumpany by an anonymous source:


SR: “Hi Dave. How’s things?”

DK: “Fine Stewart. Yourself?”

SR: “Not so bad Dave. Mustn’t grumble.”

DK: “Are you still following the cricket? It’s been a few years now.”

SR: “Well it never really leaves you Dave. Would you like some tea?”

DK: “That would be very nice Stewart. Thank you.”

SR: “Jammie Dodger?”

DK: “I beg your pardon?”

SR: “BISCUIT Dave. A Jammie Dodger BISCUIT. Unless you’d like chocolate? Fruit and Nut?”

DK: “No, I haven’t brought any of the fans with me.”

SR: “Well do help yourself from the plate. Nice weather we are having?”

DK: “Well it is certainly different to South Africa, but it is definitely warm for Glasgow.”

SR: “Is that a new tie, Dave?”

DK: “No, I have had it for some time.”

SR: “New suit?”

DK: “Yes it is. I tried a new tailor. I think the jacket reaches a very favourable settlement over my shoulders.”

SR: “You could say it FITS and it’s a PROPER suit. Ha ha!”

DK: “Yes you could say that, Stewart. If you really felt the need. How is the SFA at the moment?”

SR: “Oh you know, ups and downs, ups and downs. When are you going back to South Africa?”

DK: “After this meeting.”

SR: “You aren’t staying for the game against Celtic?”

DK: “Places to go and people to see Stewart. You know how it is.”

SR: “I do Dave. I do. Another tea before you go?”

DK: “No I am fine thanks, Stewart. Anyway, it was good to see you. Hope to see you again at some point soon.”

SR: “You too Dave. You too. See you later.”

DK: “Goodbye Stewart.”

SR: “Goodbye Dave.”


So there you have it. Conclusive proof that Dave King and the Chief Executive of the Scottish Football Assocition were not focusing on any weighty matters, but were simply discussing general topics on an informal basis, as mentioned by Roddy Forsyth:


Sadly General Topics was unavailable for comment, although The Clumpany understands that he may attend the next Armed Forces Day at Ibrox.