The Clumpany hears that the United Nations Security Council may soon pass a resolution which lays the blame for some of the greatest ills bedevilling humanity at one person’s door.
The charge sheet – which has been drawn up following a huge amount of work by two entirely separate research bodies – includes all of the following, and more besides:
- Global warming.
- Nuclear proliferation.
- The Oscars.
- The Boat Race.
- The ‘Gocompare’ TV adverts.
- Ken Barlow’s utterly inexplicable pulling power over the years.
Apparently, the Security Council is prepared to consider the strongest possible measures against the guilty individual, including air strikes and loss of access to decent streams for football matches.
But who is this appalling individual who has wrought havoc across the globe? And which two entirely independent research bodies came up with the evidence with which to charge them?
Allow me to explain with two pictures:
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…