Media, Satire, Scottish Football

Questionable ‘Achievements’

Good Evening.

My pal Alan is about to publish an article commemorating a famous episode in his life.

It is 20 years since he had the best holiday ever. Alan loves going away in his vintage Campervan, and although we often arrange to meet up for a few days lounging on a beach somewhere, I somehow never manage to see him. 

Oh well.

But I digress.

Alan fancied a trip to Cornwall, but didn’t fancy the long drive down there. So he hit upon the bright idea of putting a jet engine on the back of his Campervan. And what a great idea it proved to be! 

In a truly awesome display, he absolutely zoomed past everyone else on the roads of Scotland and England. Anyone getting in the way was simply blown away without a second thought! 

Alan got to Cornwall in record-equalling time and had a brilliant holiday.

He is so nostalgic about his achievement -which he is never going to be able to repeat – that he has decided to publish a 20th Anniversary account of it.

He is hoping that a newspaper might serialise his story, but we’ve all seen the state of them in recent times, and so we suspect that he will have to self-publish.

Do look out for it, and help celebrate Alan’s success by making a purchase if you get the opportunity. He really did give Glasgow something to be proud of.

[NB Yes I know that Alan ended up crashing, and was done for numerous traffic violations. And his Campervan did catch fire and was burnt to a cinder. And he did buy both the Campervan and jet engine with money that wasn’t necessarily repaid. And I know that his ‘achievement’ is as hollow as a Joey Barton boast. But it’s the souped-up spectacular triumph that really matters, isn’t it?]

Meanwhile, have you seen the Evening Shark-Jump’s latest offering?


NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…

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