Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

Relative Successes

Good Evening.

Regular readers will know that some of The Clumpany’s favourite MSM pieces are the ones which try really hard to find an upbeat Sevco angle from something utterly trivial.

The more trivial and desperate, the better. 

And so it was that the Sunday Mail prompted delight at Clumpany Towers today with a piece of froth about Ederzito António Macedo Lopes being linked with Sevco in a really exciting way which surely shows that the latest Ibrox outfit is on the right track.

Ederzito António Macedo Lopes is better known as ‘Eder’ and scored the winning goal for Portugal against France in the Euro 2016 Final.

Now, you might think that some sort of endorsement from Eder is a real coup for Sevco, and may therefore wonder why I was in a state of mirth about it.

Well, allow me to reveal all…

The piece continues:

Pedro Caixinha reckons Rangers can be a breeding ground for top talent after the man who scored the winner at Euro 2016 sent his son to train with them.

The 12-year-old son of Eder – whose strike helped Portugal stun France in Paris – has been training with the Ibrox club.

And Caixinha said: “We know we are doing well because we have Eder’s 12-year-old son with us and he tells us the training is better than he received in Portugal. That is a good sign.”

Maltese kid Myles Beerman, 18, has just been thrown into the first-team fold alongside David Bates, 20.

And Caixinha insists he’s ready to promote two more rookies to first-team training this week so they can get a taste of life at the top.

The Rangers boss said: “Let me tell you, Jonny Hayes and Niall McGinn are not easy opponents to face – to try to spot them – but Myles did very well against Aberdeen last week.”

Etc etc etc.

Eder sent his 12 year old son to train at Sevco! 


How amazing is that?

That will surely have clubs around the world seething with envy!

What next?

  • One of the Real Madrid Galacticos’ threw up after a night out and the pool of vomit looked just like the Sevco club badge – a development which shows how every great player has a bit of Rangers* inside them?
  • Lionel Messi’s housekeeper uses an old Rangers shirt as a dishcloth, thereby showing Sevco’s continuing high profile in world football?
  • Mark Hateley’s parrot has learned how to say “that random shite is like a new signing”, thus ensuing that anything which ever happens at Ibrox can be endorsed by someone with connections to a Rangers legend?
  • The new member of staff in the No-Longer-Murray Park canteen has a grandmother who keeps a nice picture of Winston Churchill on her wall, thereby reinforcing the quintessentially British nature of Rangers*?
  • Canine film legend Lassie’s great-great-great-great-great grandson cocked its leg on the Ibrox gates, thus sprinkling a little of the star quality that the fans have long been used to?

I can barely contain my excitement!