Media, Satire, Sevco

Dave King And The Takeover Panel

Good Evening.

Possibly coming to a newspaper near you sometime soon. 😉


“Well done Dave! Let’s do drinks” says Takeover Panel

The Rangers* Chairman is delighted to have been invited out for drinks by a starstruck Takeover Panel.

By A. Turd-Polisher

Rangers* Chairman Dave King today received a ringing endorsement from the Takeover Panel who said they would see him in [a pub near] the Court of Session to consider his takeover of the world’s most successful* ‘club’ in early 2015.

The bold, rarely-taken move by the Takeover Panel is being seen as a boost for Rangers* as they renew their assault on their coveted 55th* title. One insider explained “Make sure you quote this verbatim. Oh, are you already recording? I assume that I can say it all again if I read it out wrong? OK, here goes…

“It is very rare for the Takeover Panel to see people in the [*cough*] general area of the Court of Session, where there also happens to be a pub or two. This unusual step shows they believe there to be something truly remarkable about the way that people with Rangers’* best interests at heart rescued this historic institution”.

“How many other regulatory bodies would travel hundreds of miles for a casual discussion of the circumstances in which a football ‘club’ was taken over? 

“This is not a boast that Mike Ashley could make, and is therefore another sign of how far Rangers* have come over the past two years”.

A date has not been set for the friendly meeting and drinks in the Scottish capital. However, as a famously busy man, the South Africa-residing Dave King will certainly want to ‘make a day of it’ during his visit by engaging with the Edinburgh establishment.

As part of this, he is expected to undertake some networking with the legal profession, and will therefore be accompanied by a very expensive QC.



NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun!

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