Celtic, Media, Satire, Scottish Football, SPFL

Not Scott Sinclair


Good Evening.

The Clumpany was interested to see the comments of one particular member of the Daily Record’s  ‘top team’ who decide not to name Scott Sinclair as their SPFL Premiership player of the year for 2016-17. 

Like many others, I wondered whether they actually felt that Sinclair should get the nod but simply couldn’t bring themselves to say it. 😉

Here is their assessment*. I will leave you to make up your own mind…

[* May contain completely fictitious content]

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Our writers select their SPFL Players of the Year for season 2016/2017

Pordon Garks

Premiership player of the season: My old ZX Spectrum computer.

I know it’s not actually a player, and I know Celtic have had a decent season, but I’m sorry, in terms of sheer impact I can’t look any further than my first ever computer for ‘Player of the Year’.

During half-time at a recent league game, I was reminded of my first ever IT drama. My wee pal was a real joker and he covered my ZX Spectrum in glue before pouring a packet of Hula Hoops all over it. I loved that computer and used to play football games on it all the time. I absolutely hit the roof when I saw what he had done, and immediately offered him a square go. 

After a bit of shouting, I threw a punch at him and he hurled the computer at me. I ducked and it flew out of the window. It smashed into a million pieces. Along with my heart and soul.

The incident had a profound effect on me, and having been reminded of it while at a football match, my player of the year simply has to be a genuinely enthralling, flying, hooped Sinclair.

Or maybe Johnny Hayes of Aberdeen.

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Click here for the full Daily Record list…

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