Dear Season Ticket Holder.
We are writing to say some random things that will hopefully encourage you to buy a season ticket next year. Because, let’s face it, this season hasn’t gone quite as well as we hoped, although as a committed fan you know that this club is still the best. And we know it is still the best. And you know that we know that it is still the best. And we know that you know that we know that it is still the best. And you know that we know that you know that we know that it is still the best.
Let there be no doubt about that.
But down to business. You want upbeat superiority-drenched phrases, and we are happy to provide them:
- Staunchy, staunch staunchness.
- Unbroken, glorious, sun-drenched, stretching-to-the-horizon history.
- World’s most successful club club clubby club club.
- Winning mentality.
- Over over-investment.
- Over over over-investment.
- Trials, trauma and tribulations. Met with D.I.G.N.I.T.Y.
- Dig dig dig dig dignity, lay a little egg for me!
- Suffering, agony, martyrdom.
- Mike Ashley.
- Sports Direct.
- Defending tradition.
- Rightful place.
- Damage. Predecessors.
- Rebuilding. Big plans. Big, Big, BIG plans!
- MASSIVE PLANS.
- And probably Europe too.
Right. That should just about do it. Are you in?
Lots of love,
PS ORANGE TOP!
NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…