Celtic, Media, Satire, Scottish Football

Brendan Rodgers #Obsessed

Brendan Rodgers is consumed by an irrational determination to win football matches.
Good Evening.

A number of you will have seen this article in today’s Sunday Mail:

Strangely, the headline has been changed since this morning.

I wonder why?

The Clumpany understands that in a parallel Universe the following fictional piece could have been published instead:


Scottish press is losing it over their obsession with vague negative Celtic stories

With the heavyweight analysis of a fortune cookie, the Sunday Mail pulled out a pile of nonsense from a cobweb-covered filing cabinet, and peddled some mean-spirited pish about Celtic.

The newspaper industry is all but done and dusted, and the piece talked in ‘agonised’ terms about how Celtic are doing so well this season.

The Mail asserted Brendan Rodgers’ apparent pursuit of a season of unbeaten perfection, a pursuit which the press always likes to hype up, but which Rodgers strangely doesn’t discuss. The newspaper didn’t say it, but a defeat for Celtic might do its circulation figures the world of good, with as many as two extra sales being a strong possibility.

Forgive the Cheltenham talk, because this piece has absolutely nothing to do with Cheltenham, a lovely town in Gloucestershire which hosts horse racing. I just thought I would mention Cheltenham. Because it has been on the telly recently. If the World Snooker had been on, I would have mentioned Sheffield instead.

This line of faux-Celtic controversy is clearly being flogged to death in a bid to create some interest – no matter how minuscule – by seeing things which aren’t really there. Clearly it is time to give it a rest.

Invisible? You bet! The print media really doesn’t matter. In all honesty, it was always going to vanish once it was rumbled by discerning readers with an Internet connection. And almost everyone else too.

The Mail should tell Scott Sinclair, Moussa Dembele, Craig Gordon, Kieran Tierney, Scott Brown and Mikael Lustig they’ve run their race this term – with the exception of two more games. Just for a laugh. The laughter of the Celtic management team as they ask each other “what the hell are these folk on?”

The next hurdle in the print media’s bid to treble the contempt of readers is Celtic’s Scottish Cup semi-final against Sevco, and if that results in a disastrous Celtic win, then it’s all down to Hampden in May. Where Celtic will surely lose, won’t they? Please…

With all the praise not thrown Rodgers’ way for his apparently ‘lucky’ transformation of a team which is ‘sadly’ unrecognisable from Ronny Deila’s reign, there are strong signs of press naivety in failing to recognise the new order of things in Scottish football.

A media with little track record of calling anything right is still asking its readers, listeners and viewers to swallow its nonsense time after time. With the exception of picking up awards mainly voted for by itself, the Scottish sports media has rarely been in the winner’s enclosure, and it continues to learn on the job that it can’t stretch football fans’ credulity or patience any further. 😉

Mistakes are being made. Last week’s torrent of pish about Pedro Caixnha had a look of weariness written all over it, and by all accounts the media’s self-destruction is still being undertaken at full pelt.

That’s why it would be wise for the papers and other outlets to give it a rest, and allow pundits and commentators with something worthwhile to say to have a run out.

The bravery to say nothing when all you’ve got is vague, mean-spirited drivel about a very successful side, needs to be a part of the mainstream media’s armoury.

The papers and others have the chance to give their nonsense a breather, not just for the weeks ahead, but with one eye on the longer term.

The press equivalent of the Grim Reaper is fast-approaching from the horizon, and the mainstream media could easily become the ‘also-deads’ alongside Woolworths, British Home Stores and Rangers.



NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…