Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

Sevco ‘Porn’

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Good Evening.

The Clumpany has to admit that when it saw the back page of today’s Daily Record it was somewhat horrified by what was on display.

But enough about Keith Jackson’s suit…

I was rather disturbed by the account of comments made by ‘Paperwork’ Pedro Caixinha. It seemed as though rational perspective had been kidnapped by a PR operation, and replaced with such epic quantities of horsesh*t that the Sevco manager’s office is probably henceforth going to be in a stable with lots of roses growing outside.

Dear me. Look at the state of that back page. I mean, just look! I can only assume that “bullish” was a typo…

Of course, in reality, Pedro didn’t actually leap about shouting triumphalist nonsense in yesterday’s press conference. Although I suspect it will be coming soon! However, he did say some rather striking things which could convince anyone that he had been… errr… well briefed by a media-conscious engine room subsidiary.

Unsurprisingly, the temptation to make the most of this was too great for the Record. We were therefore treated to a truly remarkable spectacle which had precisely nothing to do with Scottish football as it actually exists on a day-to-day basis, and nothing to do with the truth of Sevco’s finances and its actual (short) history. The back page was the same sort of brash “Rangers* are coming” claptrap which brought us “Going for 55”, and which seems permanently to hanker after the excesses and purchased successes of the David Murray era.

In short, it is a form of football porn for a fan base which was bereaved by the death of Rangers, and which ‘doesn’t get out much these days’ when it comes to success. It is both crazy and tragic at the same time. You are left wondering quite how the peddling of this kind of technicolor fantasy ultimately serves either the Daily Record or the cause of sports journalism. Because it most certainly doesn’t appeal to most football fans (who won’t therefore buy it), and it doesn’t do anything to boost the credibility of the journalistic profession as a whole. Everyone with a brain is aware of a whole host of newsworthy issues in Scottish football which would be a damn sight more interesting and worthwhile to read about than yet another “ooh look at the shiny Rangers* thing” story. And yet those stories rarely materialise. It tells its own story that most of us are now no longer even surprised when juicy issues are ignored or downplayed by the major outlets.

Of course, the Record is far from alone in this regard. You can open almost any paper or tune into any programme and have a similar (if slightly less ‘in your face’) experience. But today’s back page with its bold claims and hilariously upbeat message was a particularly notable example of output which could easily be mistaken for that of a fanzine.

Maybe the folk at Record Towers and elsewhere have found a way of turning our derision into revenue? In which case, they will undoubtedly have the last laugh. However whenever I activate the Clumpany ear trumpet, it is most certainly not their laughter which I currently hear.

#KeepOnClumping

NB You can learn all there is to know about the new Sevco manager by reading the essential Clumpany guide… Sixteen Things You Need To Know About Pedro Caixinha

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