Celtic, Media, Satire, Scottish Football

Brendan Rodgers’ Outrageous Behaviour

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“Just one sugar for me, thanks”

Good Evening.

Apparently there were absolute scenes following the broadcast of a well-known football radio show last night. The drama kicked off when it was mentioned to the pundits that Brendan Rodgers had said that he prefers coffee to tea, and likes to drink it out of a wee Celtic mug that a young fan gave to him at Christmas.

One pundit apparently threw his own cup at the floor and shouted “bloody coffee in a bloody Celtic mug! Who does this guy think he is?”

Another, nursing his hand having punched the wall, cried out “it’s an absolute disgrace! So disrespectful to every other beverage in Scotland” .

The third pundit curled up in a ball on the floor and stared sobbing that Brendan had thoroughly besmirched tea, and had arrogantly taunted the rest of Scottish football by drinking from a Celtic mug. “I can’t believe he’s stooped that low. What a slap across the face for the rest of the game? Even if he didn’t want to have tea, he could still have borrowed my Rangers* mug to drink his coffee from”.

“Aye, and mine” said the first pundit.

“And mine” added the second.

“Mine too” cried a chorus of radio station employees.

“I’ve got a cupboard full of them at home, all signed by Barry Ferguson” said the off-duty presenter. “Brendan Rodgers could have borrowed one of them as long as he promised to bring it back looking just as shiny, and did not smudge Barry’s signature”.

“I bet you can tell by the way he drinks his coffee that he has no respect for the magnificent rebuilding job the Rangers* board are doing at Ibrox”, remarked the third pundit.

“It’s an insult”, grumbled the second.

“I’m not having it” said the first pundit. “Stuff him! The next time I am here, I want us to do a special programme. We can call it ‘Trashing Brendan Rodgers, because we all know that tea drunk from a Rangers* mug is absolutely the best”. Turning to the presenter he asked, with a tear in his eye, “Do you think we could do that? For the sake of tea, Rangers* and common decency?”

“Absolutely no problem at all!”, said the presenter. “My show is renowned for covering the big issues! I’ll bring my own Rangers* mug. In fact I might get a new one and invite Barry Ferguson on the show so he can sign it. It will be fantastic!”

#KeepOnClumping

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