Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

A Cheap Manager For Sevco?

Good Evening.

Fair play to the Sevco PR machine. The papers and airwaves are certainly full of bluster about who might replace The Warbmeister as manager at Ibrox and about whether they should be overseen by that most old-fashioned of ‘modern’ football innovations, a Director of Football.

Meanwhile, the circumstances in which Warbo, Weir and McParland ‘exited’  Sevco go largely unexamined, and the state of the finances – which will have a huge bearing on who is appointed to take charge of the Geriatricos – remains unmentioned.

How strange…

The Clumpany has enjoyed the ‘stories’ in the papers about the potential Sevco Director of Football. These seem mainly to consist of people with Ibrox connections saying that the idea (which Managing Director Stewart Robertson floated on Sevco TV) is a great one and the sort of thing which a big ‘club’ like Rangers* needs. In short, they tell us nothing, make a positive noise about the Sevco hierarchy being on to a winner (as always…), and fill a lot of column inches.

But I guess you have to salute the effort involved in producing such unrelenting pish.

My favourite articles, however, are the ones which purport to examine the ‘runners and riders’ for the manager’s job. 

The last time Sevco were recruiting a manager, the list of [*cough*] ‘potential candidates’ in the papers was quite short, and included one Ian Cathro as well as a certain former City trader:

The Knacker’s Yard Donkey Derby

This time around you get the impression that no one in the media has a clue what is going to happen. Which rather suggests that Sevco themselves don’t really know, and could end up sticking with Graeme Murty as the temporary manager for some time.

The Evening Shark-Jump’s list of potential candidates in their poll was hilariously lengthy. So lengthy in fact that I was gutted not to be a contender myself.

Personally, I think the giant question mark could bring a lot to the role…

At the time of writing, Frank de Boer is leading the poll as the readers’ favourite contender. 

Now, you might think that the chances of Sevco recruiting the former Ajax and (short-lived) Inter Milan manager might be on a par with me becoming President of the Chris Jack Appreciation Society. After all, de Boer is unlikely to come cheap (and that’s before we even consider the crazy notion that he might want to have a transfer budget of actual cash to spend on decent players…)

But you would be wrong! According to the Evening Shark-Jump at least, who produced one of my favourite headlines of the year so far:

Yes that’s right, it might not all be about cash! Quoting de Boer’s representative Guido Albers, the piece explains the following:

“FRANK de Boer’s agent said last night that his client is not motivated by money and his interest in the vacant Rangers post this summer is genuine.”

“The 46-year-old Dutchman – who led Ajax to four Eredivisie titles in a row before his most recent managerial stint at Italian giants Internazionale lasted just 85 days – insists he won’t make a decision on his next club until May at the latest and could yet be open to a surprise return to Ibrox.”

“While much will depend upon what other clubs express an interest…his representative Guido Albers… believes that his wage won’t be the stumbling block. He was thought to be on a seven-figure annual sum during his time in Milan”

“‘Two years ago Liverpool called and Tottenham called and I think for him it is important to take his time,’ said Albers. ‘But If he had no interest in a job like this [Rangers] he would say no definitely and he hasn’t done this.’

‘So if he has a good feeling about being approached by Glasgow then everything is possible,’ he added. ‘For now, he is not saying ‘I am not going to do this or not do that. Of course there have been a lot of things that he has said no to before but he is going to put all my options on the table in May and then he will make a decision.'”

Excuse me if I am not entirely convinced by this. It sounds like the agent was being polite when asked about de Boer being ‘linked’ to Ibrox. In the same way that he might be polite if someone who wouldn’t easily take no for an answer knocked on the door and asked if Frank would like five tonnes of manure dumped on his driveway.

I am sure that a de Boer appointment at Ibrox isn’t all about about cash above everything else. Just like it isn’t all about the availability of polar bears to juggle penguins as half-time entertainment, or having a team of unicorns to haul the Sevco team chariot to matches, or using ground dodo bones to mark the lines on the Ibrox pitch.

Definitely not.

The only thing preventing Frank de Boer from becoming Sevco manager is the question of whether he can handle the pressure of leading the world’s most successful* ‘club’, and whether he has enough shelf space to store the fifteen Champions League trophies they are about to win. 

If Frank doesn’t turn up at Ibrox soon, we will know it is because he bottled it.

And for absolutely no other reason whatsoever…