Media, Scottish Football, Sevco, SPFL

“I Agree With Dave King’s Strategy”


Good Evening.

The Clumpany recently tuned in to a radio phone-in and panel discussion about developments at Sevco (there aren’t any other sort of phone-ins or panel discussions at the moment). The assembled pundits were in a high state of excitement about the departures of The Warbmeister, Frank McParland, and the famously-besmirched David Weir, as well as the eyebrow-raising statements which had emerged from Ibrox.

What a worthwhile experience I had! I came away immeasurably better-informed than when I arrived. I now fully understand the key events and dynamics which led to the end of the Warburton era, and have a good sense of the challenges facing the Sevco board as they look for a new manager. Here’s what I learned:

  • Warbo was crap. Everyone knew it the from the start, and if you don’t remember them pointing it out then you can’t have been paying attention. He was abysmal at Brentford, and should think himself lucky that the Sevco board plucked him from obscurity in their typically charitable manner.
  • Warbo didn’t get what Rangers* is all about. Whatever that is.
  • His signings were all sh*te. Including the ones that the pundits had previously drooled over.
  • Warbo did a… errr… resign/ dismissed/ walking away/ ordered off the premises sort-of-thing. He wasn’t wanted anyway. So there.
  • Everyone should just move on for the sake of Rangers*.
  • Sevco is now so stable that it is going to be designated as the Universal Stability Constant by top scientists. There is absolutely no shambles to see at Sevco.
  • Money! Shiny over investment-y money! Big numbers! With a pound sign in front of them!
  • Scottish football is only about Rangers* being at the top. There is no conversation to be had unless it is focused on how to make that happen.
  • Dave King’s statement was so clear that you could print it out and use it as a replacement window.
  • King showed great leadership in acting so decisively after Warbo had let him down so tragically.
  • Interim managers are great! Definitely the way forward. Unless you get a permanent one.
  • Directors of Football overseeing a permanent manager are great! Unless you prefer an interim manager working on his own.
  • Real Rangers* Men are the proper sort of men to be doing Rangers* things in a real sort of way.
  • Alex McLeish’s EBT is as unmentionable as the third-place finish in a two-horse race that he once steered the ‘same club’ to.
  • Detailed discussion about Sevco’s plans and available resources are too tedious for a Scottish audience to listen to. They want to hear empty rhetoric about rightful places being regained!
  • Resignations take a REALLY long time to process at Sevco. So long in fact, that you may as well continue going about your duties for days on end to fill the time until everything is sorted.
  • Apparently there some ‘clubs’ other than Sevco involved in Scottish football.
  • But they don’t merit a discussion.
  • No one seems to care if you suspect some in the broadcast media of being embarrassing mouthpieces for Sevco propaganda.

This is all absolutely magnificent stuff and leaves me asking one question:

Are they going to install cameras in the studio so we can actually watch them giving the Sevco board repeated standing ovations over the coming days?

I would hate to miss it.