The Clumpany would like to take a short break from parody and surrealism and simply say thank you to Sevco for continuing to provide such sustained, high-quality entertainment on such an epic scale.
The demise of Rangers was truly spectacular and (unlike Rangers themselves) will never get old. It was asking a lot to expect the tribute act to live up to those standards of hilarity, but boy have they done well.
Charles Green’s tea-making, the Brechin hedge, Ally’s Challenge Cup calamities, cheating Alloa, the Sevco super bus, gardening leave, Kenny McDowall’s permanent bewilderment, Stuart McCall and Cammy Bell coming a cropper in the playoffs against Motherwell, Hibs winning the Scottish Cup, Hearts ‘minding the gap’ in the Championship, Nadir Ciftci celebrating before he scored for Utd, the AGM gazebos, the delusion, the fantasy, the media fawning, the crisis loans, the retail deal’s seven-year notice period, the Sports Direct loan not being a loan, the Sports Direct loan being repaid, the Fenian duck, Ally’s list of players who gamble, the crossbar challenge, the ‘Going for 55’ hubris, the 5-1 hammering at Celtic Park, overinvestment, a favourable settlement, the Sports Direct protests, Charleston Battery, engine room subsidiaries, the hospital bed interview, penny shares, the wibble-tastic fan group statements, the bizarre ‘club’ statements, the endless court cases, Sevco 5088, Sevco Scotland, Wee Stevie from IT, the victory of the ‘Real Rangers Men’, the delisting, a freezing cold friendly in Leipzig, David Weir’s besmirchment, £6m for Barrie McKay, the world class breakfast, all eleven players attacked or spat on at Hampden, the Day of Reckoning, Joey Barton, Jim Traynor shutting down a press conference, endless liquidation lies, bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit.
Plus all of the other things which I have failed to mention.
And now, on top of all of that, a controversial parting of the ways between Sevco and the one-time World’s Greatest Football Manager. A parting which includes the awesome spectacle of the ‘club’ saying that Warbo has resigned, and Warbo saying that he hasn’t. What could possibly now go wrong?
Sevco may not be Rangers, but they sure as hell are hilarious.
Thank you Sevco.