Satire, Scottish Cup, Scottish Football, SFA

Watt Were They Thinking?

Good Afternoon.

The Clumpany almost felt sorry for the SFA yesterday.

No, really.

Because Tony Watt’s comments on Scottish football while he was promoting the Scottish Cup were – in places – cringeworthy.  Although he was full of praise for Hearts – for whom he recently played – comments such as those below are not the sort of thing you want to hear from someone who is supposed to be ‘bigging up’ one of the game’s major showpieces!

“It’s just not for me. It’s the style, the play, everything. Financially, England is better.

“It wouldn’t be worth your while coming back to Scotland when you could play in England”

But then I remembered that this is the same SFA which is no stranger to ‘Armageddon’ chat, which managed to mess up a Cup draw live on air, which received flak over the Scotland squad’s flight home from Georgia being massively delayed, and which seems not to have heeded the advice of Barry Hearn on promoting the game despite having invited him to come and do so in 2014!
Clearly the SFA had no control over Watt’s comments, but nevertheless, my sympathy quickly evaporated and I found myself wondering what other ways they might find to make a PR hash of the Cup this season. Here are some ideas:

  • The quarter-final draw resulting in four ‘Rangers*’ v ‘Rangers*’ ties. With all eight Rangers* sides somehow drawn at home.
  • The semi-finals seeing the SFA trial innovations aimed at attracting new TV investment into Scottish football. Project Green will involve all teams and officials wearing green strips, the use of green balls and goalposts, and the pitch marked out with green lines.
  • All 22 players in the all-Rangers* final being attacked on the Hampden pitch by Hibs fans [see Daily Record for further ‘details’].
  • The trophy being presented by celebrity guest ‘The Human Torch’ from the Fantastic 4, who will accidentally melt down the trophy prior to the presentation ceremony.

And finally

  • The SFA will organise an ‘open top bus’ parade for the winning team. To be held on the Glasgow Subway because they left it too late to hire an actual bus.

It’s going to be absolutely fantastic.


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