Media, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco

Kenny Miller’s Cookery Class

Good Evening.

Following widespread coverage of his views on the Scottish Premiership, The Clumpany has received interesting reports about Kenny Miller’s activities at no-longer-Murray Park over the past few days. Rumours suggest he may have tried to hijack the production of the celebrated world class breakfast which has recently transformed a four-year-old outfit into contenders for the Premiership runners-up spot!

Apparently, Miller went into the kitchens and boldly called out one of the eggs which was lined up to be cooked and then fuel a Geriatrico to the heights of mediocrity!

He saw the egg sitting in a box minding its own business and boldly declared that he “didn’t fancy that egg to remain unbeaten for the rest of the breakfast service”. In fact he also went on to state that “it wasn’t as tough a prospect as it looked, and might easily be broken no matter what the pundits suggested”.

The rest of the Sevco squad naturally respected his superior insight and encouraged Miller to smash his Old Oeuf rival.

And fair play to Kenny, he didn’t shirk his opportunity to scramble the opposition or to poach a great result. He eyed-up the challenge before him and took strike with the singular aim of breaking his opponent.

“Unbeaten my arse!” cried Miller! 

“Take that! And THAT! I’ll show you and your unbeaten run!”

Sadly for Kenny Miller, the rugby ball he was misguidedly accosting remained unmoved and quite possibly eleven points clear…