Celtic, Media, Scottish Football

Kris Void Goes Limbo Dancing

How low can you go, Kris?

Good Afternoon.

Clumpaneers are encouraged to take a look at the twitter timeline of the always-interesting @AgentScotland, who today demolished the latest bit piece of nonsense from no-one’s favourite ex-Sevco and Rangers wannabe media pundit: Kris ‘Your Barn Doors Are Safe’ Void.

@AgentScotland pointed out the flaws in Void’s analysis – particularly around Henrik Larsson’s career and the circumstances in which Dembele came to play for Celtic. Consequently, I won’t undertake any hard analysis and will instead simply sneer…

As in his recent piece on how the Scotland team has suffered as a result of the harsh treatment ‘handed out’ to dead Rangers, Void appears to be trying to say something ‘edgy’ just because he wants to make it as a pundit in Scotland. And it seems like he has taken a look at the standard of most of our football pundits and decided to limbo dance right down to their level.

It’s risible stuff. If Void really fancies himself as the ‘next Chris Sutton’ then I challenge him to call up Clyde SSB and take Rangers ‘legend’ Derek Johnstone to task with an eviscerating series of entirely accurate comments. 

Chris Sutton v Yesterday’s Pundit

How you you fancy doing that Mr Void?
The central themes of Void’s latest column are that

  • Scottish football is shit so anyone coming here must be pretty shit too [Which immediately prompts you to look at the percentage of his career games which Void has played North of the Border…].
  • Celtic aren’t going to get £20m-plus for Moussa Dembele when he is sold because… well because Void says so and he has a column in the Scottish S*n in which to say it!

There is no consideration of

1) The dynamics and ridiculous finances of the modern-day transfer market;

2) The motivation of Dembele in choosing to come to Celtic [hint: the chance of regular first team football, and of playing in Europe in front of large crowds for a good manager might have had something to do with it]; and

3) The possibility that several obscenely rich/ profligate clubs competing for Dembele’s signature will not give two hoots over whether he has been playing for an SPFL team. Assuming Dembele continues to develop, does anyone seriously imagine a group of Europe’s leading sides (or EPL basket cases) sitting down together and agreeing that 

  • because Dembele plays in Scotland none of them will pay a penny over £20m; and that 
  • if Celtic demand any more for him they will all walk away leaving him to see out his career at Celtic?

Of course not. The idea is utterly preposterous. 

The one and only reasonable point in Void’s piece is his remark that it is still too early to reach a definitive view about Dembele, given that he has only been at Celtic for ‘five minutes’. That is fair enough – although it didn’t stop Void himself from guaranteeing that Dembele won’t ultimately be sold for £20m-plus! 

All in all, Void’s article is a classic example of the ‘I know nothing and I am going to lecture you all about it’ school of punditry.

I therefore predict that he will have a long and glorious media career in Scotland. However, I don’t fancy his chances of being snapped up for north of a tenner by any of the big UK or European operators.

#KeepOnClumping

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