The Clumpany loves it when a newspaper goes out on a limb to extract some ‘Rangers’ value from practically nothing. And so it was that I was highly entertained to see this piece in the Herald and Evening Shark-Jump today.
Anyone expecting an epic piece of insight into the transformational impact of a four-year-old ‘club’ making its debut in the top flight would have been sorely disappointed. Although frankly, if you ever read the Evening Shark-Jump hoping for something like that you may wish to seek medical attention. 😉
Almost two-thirds of the piece was about Murray’s progress in the ATP World Tour Finals which I understand to be a tennis-themed event of some description. However, the rest of the article was page-staining Sevco froth of the highest order!
Here are the crucial passages:
ANDY Murray predicted last night that Scottish football is set to pick up again now Rangers are back in the Ladbrokes Premiership. The world’s best tennis player, who had a trial with the Ibrox side as a teenager before committing to tennis, opted out of watching Scotland’s 3-0 defeat to England at Wembley. While he feels unqualified to offer an opinion on why so many young Scottish footballers struggle to become world class, he feels that the financial problems which afflicted Rangers didn’t help and interest in the game north of the border will pick up now they are back in the top flight.
“I have no idea because I don’t know what any of them have done when they are young,” said the World No 1. “I don’t know what sort of training and stuff they do. So it is difficult for me to say. But I think obviously the level of Scottish football has probably gone down a little bit when everything happened with Rangers, I don’t think that helped, so hopefully in the next few years now that they are back in the main league that will help get a bit more interest in it again.”
FFS! Murray says he doesn’t know why Scotland doesn’t produce world class footballers. He says that the level of Scottish football has probably gone down a little bit following Rangers’ demise and that having a Rangers ‘back’ might get more young folk a bit more interested!
And yet the headline of an article which is mainly about tennis almost gives the impression that Scottish football might be about to come back to life following the glorious ‘return’ of the mighty Gers*.
You can’t fault the paper for effort. You can fault it for pretty much everything else, but certainly not for its cheerleading endeavour.
The Clumpany looks forward to other sports stars offering their excited endorsement of Scottish football now that Rangers* are ‘back’:
Rangers* treble! Jamie and Judy join Andy Murray in welcoming Premiership return.
Greyhound Derby winner thrilled at Gers* renewed top-flight status. “Woof woof woof” says delighted pooch.
Massive ‘coop’ for Sky! Champion racing pigeon gets TV subscription to watch Rangers* in Premiership.
Chris Froome admits to St Etienne bike envy as Gers’* return to big-time.
“‘Neigh’ chance I was missing renewed Old Firm* rivalry” says Shergar in dramatic return to public life.
“Bloody hell! You wouldn’t believe how sore I am after sitting on Shergar all these years. Come on the Gers*!”, says Lord Lucan.
What a time to be alive!