Media, Sevco

Shoveling Manure In Ally’s Garden


Good Evening.

It was good to see Ally McCoist back in the papers this week. Not least because he was pictured with Walter Smith and (a rarely-sighted) David Murray. Three men who helped to make Rangers what they are today.

Dead.


You know that when Gardener Ally hoves into view some Grade A manure will shortly be presented to you for sniffing. And he didn’t disappoint!

Ally McCoist wouldn’t be shocked if Rangers don’t finish second in the Premiership

Yes that’s right folks. As predicted, the ‘Sevco prospects’ rhetoric is being downgraded even further.

Viva Las Sevco

Having seen public expectations lowered from ‘Going for 55’ through ‘second place is a minimum requirement’ to ‘ought to be runners-up‘ Ally is now leading the charge on behalf of the ‘third-or-fourth place realists’

It surely can’t be long before Richard Gough is wheeled out to say that surviving a relegation playoff would be as good as winning ‘9-in-a-row’.

To be fair to Ally, there is almost a hint of realism in his comments, although you have to wonder whether he is only adopting his view in the face of the stark reality of Celtic’s flying start to the season and Sevco’s pishness. 

ALLY MCCOIST insists it is not second or bust for Mark Warburton at Rangers this season.

And the former Ibrox boss admits he would not be shocked if the Light Blues failed to finish best of the rest in the Premiership. He said: “No, would you? Would anyone be shocked if Aberdeen finished second?”

“Aberdeen have been solidly Scotland’s second best team for the last two seasons and I don’t think that’s going to change because they’ve got a good solid base and a good manager.

The team knows what it’s about. Hearts have done exceptionally well. They went into administration and benefited from going down and rebuilding and coming back up.
I always felt that these clubs would certainly be in or around Rangers unless Rangers spent a lot of money – and that Aberdeen would be potentially be better. So it would not be surprising if Aberdeen finished second.

“I don’t think [it is second or bust]. I think some people might think that. I think second would be a good achievement actually but I don’t think it’s second or bust. I certainly don’t think anyone should be losing their job if they finish in the top four.

My own opinion at the start of the season was I would like to have thought Rangers could compete with Hearts and Aberdeen and possibly be slightly better than St Johnstone.”

Can you imagining him offering that kind of sober assessment at the start of the season? And even if he did, can you imagine that any newspaper would have printed it?

Hmmm…

But the really soggy and stinky McCoist manure came in his comments about Sevco’s signings. These which offered a truly priceless insight into the managerial genius which saw Rangers twice crash out of Europe with liquidation-flavoured consequences and Sevco repeatedly knocked out of the Perpetual Failure Cup.

The floor is yours Ally:

“I think there is too much made of budgets. When 11 line up against 11 you don’t think about budgets. You just think about your job.”

“I get it that if you’ve got a bigger budget you should be able to get a higher calibre of player. Of course I understand that.”

“It’s always a concern because as a manager you live or die by your signings. But I do still think it’s a little early. I think the football team will be developing over the next 18 months or so. I don’t have any doubt about that.

I don’t know but they will probably strengthen in the next couple of windows. There will be changes, definitely. But there have been no absolute standouts. I get that.

The Barton thing hasn’t work out. Kranjcar has been really unlucky, Rossiter is injured again. These are hard luck stories. But you do get judged on your signings and I would be hopeful that one or two others would step up and start playing consistently well.”

Well I think we all learned something there didn’t we?

“I think there is too much made of budgets”. Really Ally? That’s why Rangers spent other people’s money like it was going out of fashion and stiffed 276 creditors – including the taxman – in order to field better players than anyone else?  

“When 11 line up against 11 you don’t think about budgets”. I guess that might be a convenient excuse if you are getting pumped by Alloa in a Challenge Cup semi-final. However, it’s the sort of absolute garbage that can lead citizens of Planet Wibble to suggest that having better players gives you no sporting advantage! It’s an absolute insult to the intelligence.

“It’s always a concern because as a manager you live or die by your signings”. Does anyone ever remember that happening to McCoist, a walking criticism-exclusion zone? Me neither.

“I think the football team will be developing over the next 18 months or so. I don’t have any doubt about that”.  You think AND you don’t doubt Ally?! Please make up your mind about whether you can make up your mind…

We’re waiting Ally…

“I don’t know but they will probably strengthen in the next couple of windows. There will be changes, definitely”. Thanks for that searing analysis of the likely development of the Sevco team, Ally! If you could manage to decide if you’ve decided on your opinion we might all leave the article better-informed.

“I would be hopeful that one or two others would step up and start playing consistently well”Which players, Comrade Gnomemeister? Which ones haven’t been playing well? Who could bring more to the Warbolution Party?

Dear me. As ever, Ally ultimately leaves us all feeling rather cheated. Lots of words are uttered and lapped up by the media, but barely any of them are worth hearing.

Still, he’s a cheeky chappie isn’t he?

And he remains a young, up-and-coming manager. Doesn’t he?

#KeepOnClumping