Every now and then the World’s Greatest Newspaper delivers a real treat for astonished onlookers.
I am ashamed to admit that I almost missed the Evening Shark-Jump’s latest masterpiece, but thankfully my ‘media insider’ ‘Brand’ the Parrot squawked it to my attention:
Is that actual news? Or a sop to make fans of Scotland’s newest going-concern-warning-engine-room-subsidiary-thing feel that their ‘club’ is participating in the Big Time? For the first time.
Yes folks, Sevco have a European fixture, and there’s such a buzz about it that extra aeroplanes are being laid on for the fans! They must be a really big ‘club’ with continental ambitions and a jet-setting following to have EasyJet providing additional flights!
Given their form for hyping up every single aspect of Sevco’s existence, I fully expect this to be just the start of a flood of ESJ stories about their epic trip to Europe. Future ‘stories’ may include
- Rangers* fans show appetite for European return* by snapping up tickets for additional flights!
- Departure lounge a sea of Light Blue as Gers* fans show commitment to follow-following the flight departure board by checking in early.
- Astonishing scenes as Gers* fans marvel at ‘machine that flies’ sorcery.
- View our website to follow flight path of squadron of Gers* fans as they head out to conquer Europe.
- On-plane toilets used as Rangers* fans almost piss themselves with excitement over prospect of European glory.
- “It’s just like flying out for a Champions League game. Bring me Solo and the Wookie” says a completely unidentified R̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶*̶ Airdrie fan.
- Continent trembles with fear as Gers* fans touch down in same land mass as the European Cup.
- Carousel calamity as rumour spreads that Dave King’s warchest may be among flight baggage. Security staff remove Gers* fans after three month search. “What was the score in the Leipzig game?” ask millions of stranded fans.
I can hardly wait.
PS take a look at the above ESJ headline and ask yourself ‘who are RP Leipzip?’.
And then marvel at the headline still being unchanged over four hours later…