Good Morning. [And please ‘vote Clumpany’ on Twitter and the FBA website!]
It is a little known fact that Gordon Strachan is actually 6’7″ tall. It is only because managers during his playing years wanted to lull opponents into a false sense of security that we ever thought he was only 5’6″ in height.
Throughout his career, Strachan has been surrounded by an elaborate series of mirrors, carefully arranged to make him appear diminutive in stature. You can imagine the shock his opponents always got when Strachan the Giant took to the pitch ahead of a game. In fact, many teams were so shocked that they were beaten before a ball was even kicked.
When Strachan retired and became a manager he wanted to keep his trademark ‘wee’ persona in place so as to instil shock and awe into his players when he walked into the dressing room. And so the legend of ‘WGS’ persists to this day.
The Clumpany felt it was important to reveal this big secret otherwise folk might think Strachan (who won 50 caps) is being unfair (or even hypocritical) in his comments about why ’40 goals-in-a-season’ Leigh Griffiths (who is 5’8″ tall) can’t get a game in his ailing Scotland team.
As the Herald reports:
“GORDON STRACHAN has made it clear Leigh Griffiths faces a fight to force his way into the Scotland team because he’s not big enough.
While the Scotland manager stopped short of stating the Celtic striker had no chance at all of starting against England in the next World Cup qualifying match, he did admit to preferring more physical players in his side”
“When Strachan was asked whether Griffiths would have to accept he would only be used as a substitute, the manager said: ‘No, I wouldn’t say that. In the 51 games in the Euro Championships the first 19 goals were scored from set plays. That means you have to have a certain amount of height on the field to defend corner kicks.
I’ll give you an example. The [Scotland] team was a lot smaller at 2-0 than it was at 0-0 [in Slovakia] and the first corner kick we get after that, they score with a header. Does that help you with the certain amount of height that you have to have in my team? There’s absolutely no doubt about it.
People can argue that toss and debate it. But that is fact. You need to have a certain amount of height in international football teams to defend set plays. It’s not just Leigh Griffiths. You’ve got to try to get the balance. I could pick a huge team but there would be a problem passing the ball.'”
Nae luck Leigh! Can I suggest you give George Lucas a call and ask him to CGI all the footage of your games so that WGS will think you have the height of Chewbacca? And perhaps you should contact Peter Jackson and ask him to develop some prosthetic legs for you? That way, when you turn up for Scotland training with the stature of King Kong you’ll be a shoe-in for selection.
If special effects were good enough for Strachan’s football career, they should be good enough for yours…
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