Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

Kenny Miller’s Charitable Works

Good Afternoon. [And please ‘vote Clumpany’ on Twitter and the FBA website!]

The Clumpany must admit to having a certain respect for Kenny Miller as a footballer. As his goal against ICT showed last night, he’s still a good striker at age 36, which suggests he works hard off the pitch. 

It may not be much of a compliment, but he’s probably the most effective and goal-threatening player in the Sevco side.

However, the main purpose of this short blog is to express admiration for Kenny’s unrelenting and underappreciated  charitable works. He really should get an award!

The Ibrox-based football ‘club’ may be 

  • ethereal,
  • unable to generate revenue,
  • incapable of entering into employment contracts; and
  • not able to spend money (for example, by paying wages or bills)

…and yet Kenny Miller managed to notch up his ‘100th goal’ for the ‘club’ last night.

What a legend that man is! Providing all that free labour for an ethereal club when he could have gone absolutely anywhere else where the club is an incorporated entity which can engage in real-world transactions and which could have paid him handsomely!

Still, at least by playing for ‘Rangers’ his goal scoring spree wasn’t broken by pesky liquidation shenanigans. Imagine if he had stayed at incorporated Celtic FC and they had liquidated, with a new incorporated ‘Celtic’ taking its place. He’d have ended up scoring a lot of goals at Celtic Park for one club. And then further goals at Celtic Park for another. He would never have reached that magical milestone of 100 goals for one club.

Phew! What a lucky escape for Mr Miller!

Given his tireless charitable works, I think we can all agree that it was great to see Kenny notch up his century for ‘Rangers’. It’s just a shame that the old holding company wasn’t around to see it, drowning as it is in the tears of 276 stiffed creditors.

Here’s to the next 100 Kenny! No matter how many incarnations of ‘Rangers’ it may take you to get there!


NB The Clumpany has somehow made it through to the final of the Football Blogging Awards 2016, in the ‘Best New Blog’ catgegory! Many thanks for all your votes so far.

All votes cast in the first round have been rolled over to the final, but you can (and should!) vote again in the following ways:

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You can cast a vote on BOTH Twitter and the website. Voting concludes on 28 October with the winners announced on 17 November 2016.

Many thanks for your support!