Good Morning. [And please ‘vote Clumpany’ on Twitter and the FBA website!]
News has reached Clumpany Towers that following yesterday’s hilarious press conference, the Sevco hierarchy instigated an inquiry into whether anything had gone wrong with the “club’s” normally well-oiled PR operation.
In case you were on Jupiter and missed it, here is a reminder of what happened when Sky’s Mark Benstead asked The Warbmeister a series of questions relating to Joey Barton.
As we all know, Sevco take their communications very seriously, and so deployed their top man to get to the bottom of yesterday’s events.
Hitherto-unknown PR expert Jimmy Traynor was instructed to leave no stone unturned in his quest for the truth. He gave a solemn undertaking to do ‘whatever it takes’ and even to sanction Jim Traynor if necessary.
Jimmy Traynor’s first action was to get straight on the phone to legendary PR guru James Traynor to discuss the matter, receive his advice, and agree a strategy.
James advised Jimmy that he had always liked the cut of Jim’s jib, and felt it was absolutely outrageous that the press pack had not heeded his instructions to refrain from asking questions about Joey Barton.
James suggested that had either he or Jimmy been in Jim’s place they would have done exactly the same thing. Jimmy agreed with James, and bowed to his expertise.
Jimmy admitted that he had felt for Jim during the press conference, and said that – if anything – the media had got off too lightly. James agreed and remarked that with that sort of insight Jim would go far in the world of Sevco PR.
They agreed that no action was necessary, that Jim Traynor was doing a great job, and that the Sevco board should be told as much. James offered to accompany Jimmy and Jim at a meeting with Jim’s superiors if it would be helpful. After all, no one would dare argue with a trio of Traynors!
Having concluded the meeting, Jimmy immediately called Jim to tell him the good news. He made the call on his office landline and was somewhat bemused when his own mobile phone began to ring…
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