Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

Senderos, Sevco And Singing

Senderos slowly savours a refreshing drink of water…

Good Afternoon.

The Clumpany understands that the word ‘imminent’ has triggered a release clause in its contract with the BBC’s Kenny MacIntyre in an effort to escape from this Tweet which was posted at 8:18pm on Thursday night:

At the time of writing (getting on for two full days later) Senderos has still not signed a contract with Sevco. Rumours that Senderos is so slow that the ink keeps evaporating from the pen before it finally reaches the paper remained unconfirmed.

It is most certainly not like Kenny to have his finger off the pulse, as anyone who saw his legendary tweets about Sportsound and the Offshore Game report can attest:

Oh dear. Oh dear me…

But back to Senderos, who has been training with Sevco since 15 August… The media as a whole had certainly previously given the impression that there might be some movement towards a signing. Of course, that ISN’T the same as knowing it was actually going to happen. 

Some cynical observers might suggest that an increase in noise around Senderos might have had something to do with Joleon Lescott turning Sevco down owing to “family reasons”. An unfortunate turn of events which occurred just as the Ibrox faithful started to realise that their current ‘stars’ might not be quite as stellar as they wanted to believe…

Speaking of which, I can’t say I was blown away by Sevco’s quality last night – with the exemption of James Tavernier’s absolutely outstanding free kick. When even the Evening Shark-Jump suggests it wasn’t a great performance you know something must have been REALLY lacking. Their first half was desperately poor – although Kilmarnock deserve a lot of credit for their industry and application which could serve them well during the rest of the season if they can maintain it. 

The second half saw a much ‘busier’ Sevco but there wasn’t a great deal of cutting edge in the face of a fighting rearguard action from Killie. Before he was sent into orbit by a shocking tackle from Greg Taylor, Joey Barton continued to look like the Summer’s most overrated acquisition. And I say that as someone who paid a lot of money to try adding some genuine Martian bleach to my Buckie cocktails…

Still, I am sure Barton will still manage to dominate games and win player of the year from the comfort of his favourite tweeting armchair.

In his post-match interview with BT Sport, The Warbmeister looked absolutely crestfallen at the Sevco performance. More so than you might ordinarily expect. I wonder how he will deal with it should Sevco experience a proper struggle during the season…

Still, it was good to see that even when feeling low the Warbo genius was still firing on all cylinders. Perhaps having seen the recent ‘new club/company’ letter from UEFA, he had this to say:

Warbo: That Wasn’t Rangers

Once again, BT Sport’s coverage of the game was excellent and I find myself cringing at the thought of being Tannered and McCanned by Sky Sports anytime soon. The only real flaw last night was the repeated on-air apologies for swearing that was picked up by the pitch-side microphones. Of course, the apologies in themselves were fair enough, but what really irked was the way that they merely served to fill the gaps between the Sevco fans belting out an epic medley of their Famine/Fenian Family Favourites…

Not a single word was said by BT about this horrendous spectacle. We know that broadcasters CAN say something if they want to: see for example ESPN’s Ray Stubbs’ half-time apology for the first half singing in the Berwick v Sevco match in February 2013. Perhaps BT Sport will reflect upon last night’s events, their obvious ambition to present Scottish football in a positive light and call out this hateful embarrassment for what it is?

Fair play to journalists Tom English, Neil Cameron, Jim Spence and Graham Spiers (a veteran of these matters) for highlighting the singing. I suspect we will wait a very long time indeed for the governing bodies to say or do anything  about it. The absence of strict liability in our domestic game makes punishment very difficult. However, I fail to see why the SFA and SPFL cannot publicly condemn it and/or lean on Sevco to make it absolutely clear to the relevant section of fans that the ‘club’ has a zero tolerance policy in relation to the choral delights we heard last night. [And before the ‘Whatabouters’ start howling, let me be absolutely clear that any other club with similar problems should be doing something about it!].

Before I sign off, let me just check the state of the Senderos signing…


No, he’s still not signed. Just how slow is Senderos? No one is quite sure, but I have certainly heard that he is so slow that 

  • he is still warming up for his Arsenal debut;
  • after a hectic day, drying paint relaxes by watching DVDs of him;
  • his action replays are shown via oil paintings;
  • he just called the Daily Record to congratulate them on finding a Motherwell-born billionaire;
  • a two-year contract will feel like ten for those watching him;
  • bookmakers are offering odds on the heat death of the universe occurring before he actually signs for Sevco.

Watch this space! But you might want to find a comfy chair and have a very large supply of food and drink with you. 

Because you may be there for some time.


3 thoughts on “Senderos, Sevco And Singing

Comments are closed.