Celtic, Champions League, Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

The Secret Of Champions League Qualification

Good Afternoon.

Once again we have to salute The Warbmeister. He’s the man with ALL the insights. What he doesn’t know about football isn’t worth even trying to find out.

This time he has come up with a solution to an issue which has perplexed some of the great managerial minds and thwarted some extraordinarily rich football investors: how to qualify for the Champions League

We are fortunate indeed to have the Evening Shark-Jump around to bring us his profound observations, although quite why Warbo hasn’t set up his own consultancy to dispense his wisdom for thousands of pounds an hour is anyone’s guess. Maybe he simply believes in philanthropy? A possibility made all the more plausible given that he chose to become Sevco manager…

So what is the great secret that The Warbly One has uncovered?

“To get into the Champions League you need to win the Premiership title, it’s that simple.”

My word he’s brilliant, isn’t he? 

Who could have known that with Scotland having only one place in Europe’s premier club competition, a club (ethereal or otherwise) would have to win the Scottish Premiership to enter it?

He’ll be telling me next that you need to take the top off a bottle of Buckie in order to drink it [Incidentally that isn’t true. You just need a drill and a straw. Or a really strong bite].

And I wouldn’t be surprised to read headlines about Warbo ‘firing a warning’ that the Premiership’s bottom team will be relegated this season; or to hear him reveal that the winners of the Scottish Cup actually receive a Cup [not that he has personal experience of that…].

The article as a whole seemed to be a classic piece of Evening Shark-Jumpery. It associates Sevco with Champions League football, mentions the ‘Old Firm’, and talks blithely about the new club’s title challenge. Again.

A measure of quite how upbeat the article strives to be is its commentary on what could transpire if various results all go Sevco’s way:

Having suggested “Celtic face Aberdeen on Saturday aiming to avoid a European hangover”, it states that

“If it turns out to be a perfect weekend for Warburton, Rangers will head across the city next month with a chance to move seven points clear at the top of the table.”

Now that really is hoping things ‘pan out’ well…

Meanwhile, I am looking forward to the Champions League group stage draw. Celtic are in Pot 4, whereas Sevco are in search of a pot to p*ss in… 😉. And as for the games themselves, we can be sure that Warbo will be showing solidarity with the rest of Sevconia by watching Celtic on the TV. After all, that’s what he was doing on Tuesday night…

“But the coverage of their game [on Tuesday] night, with the replays that you can pause and rewind, allow me to look at the positions the players take up which you can’t always see when you’re there because it happens and then it’s gone.

The coverage from Sky and BT is magnificent and it’s great to have that facility.”

Indeed it is Warbo. Indeed it is…


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