Scottish Football, Sevco

‘Two Hats’ Dave

Dave King is about to have a very stern word with himself…

Good Evening.

I don’t know how Sevco manage to do it on such a regular basis, but they are masters of the art of the ‘bonkers public utterance’. In fact, they are second only to Sevco fans’ groups, whose breathless batshit-crazy statements really ought to go on display in a gallery for future generations to enjoy. 

Today’s latest bout of hilarity came in the form of Episode 968 of the Dave King Q&A with fans. You may recall that in the interests of transparency, and in the absence of the communication requirements that come with a listing on a stock exchange, Dave asked fans to submit their questions which he would then address via a series of missives on the Sevco website.

Today, Dave commented upon issues raised in relation to ‘Replica Kit and other retail activities’. You can find his comments here. 

Please take a moment to marvel at the fact that nothing is said about the club’s position on having an Orange strip, which I assumed formed around 99% of the queries submitted by fans. Once you have done that, it is worth reading the whole piece a second time, and then seeking medical attention to treat the wound you have given yourself from scratching your head.

The article may consist of a series of words written in the English language by the chairman of a public company, but beyond that it defies analysis. I think King appears to claim that 

  • he can’t say anything much about the Sevco/Sports Direct retail deal just now,
  • that the withholding of TRFC’s permission for Rangers Retail Ltd (RRL) to use Sevco trademarks creates issues; and that
  • as well as being chairman of RIFC, he is a director of RRL.

The upshot of all this seems to be that King finds himself having to deal with the implications of one of his companies being denied the right to use trademarks owned by the subsidiary of another of his outfits.

Are you still with me?!

Quite what King or Sevco hoped to achieve by putting out this sprawling mess of a piece is anyone’s guess. Even the Evening Shark-Jump seemed bemused, and simply regurgitated the rambling rather than doing any upbeat spinning.

Given that there isn’t even any word on what King ultimately hopes to get out of this situation, and by what date, it would probably have been better simply to say nothing. A point which could also be made about pretty much everything to have been published by Sevco in recent times.

In particular, it might have been better to avoid taking a sneering pop at His Big Mikeness for having been called before a parliamentary committee to discuss his business practices. Apart from possibly antagonising HBM, such remarks simply bring to mind 

  • King’s place on the heroic final board of Rangers (IL), 
  • his tax convictions; and 
  • the infamous remarks of the South African judiciary…

You are fooling no one, Dave.

However, I must admit that Dave’s predicament when attending Rangers Retail Ltd meetings almost prompted me to feel sorry for him. Wearing those two RIFC and RRL hats must be exhausting. On the one hand he’ll have to tut and frown at the predicament RRL finds itself in, shorn as it is of the right to use Sevco trademarks. And on the other he’ll have to staunchly defend the decision of his engine room subsidiary to withhold them?

It won’t be an easy balance to strike:

Will King have to throw some hostile glances across the table at himself? 

Will he undertake to meet himself outside the boardroom to try and broker a resolution to the impasse? 

Will he express solidarity with the Sports Direct chaps while simultaneously trying to get the better of them? 

If the meeting goes badly, should he storm out and slam the door in his own face? 

Should he go for a drink with himself after RRL board meetings to show that there are no hard feelings? 

Who should pick up the tab for said drinks: Dave King or Dave King? [Unless a fans’ group steps forward to do the honours, of course…😉].

And will Dave have to spin both for and against himself in order to get a suitably sympathetic and hostile media reaction to developments? I can just imagine Level 5 PR having to go up against newly-created Level -5 PR in the battle for hearts and minds.

So many questions, and so few answers. 

But that’s Sevco Q&As for you…