Clumpany Matters, Media, Scottish Football, Sevco, SFA, SPFL

The Last Hurrah

Good Morning.

The Clumpany has been summoned to other duties, and Clumpany Towers is to be mothballed for a period.

In two days it will be the first anniversary of the first Clumpany blog. It took the form of meandering thoughts about last season’s Scottish Cup semi-final between Celtic and ICT where Josh Meekings famously didn’t handle the ball in the eyes of the referee. Or any of his 400 assistants!

From there, the blog acquired a life of its own. This is the 435th piece I have posted, and the blog has notched up 2.88m hits, and 1.05m ‘unique visitors’. I was a finalist in the ‘Best New Blog’ category of The Football Blogging Awards 2015 (thanks again for all the votes), and even got a mention in Prof. Roy Greenslade’s Guardian column on one occasion! 

Most importantly, however, it has been great fun to write the articles. Some of them have been rather long, and some very snappy. Many have been forensic and analytical, whereas others have been humorous. And one or two have simply been downright surreal.

We’ve had fictitious interviews, discussion of the Rangers ‘same club’ myth, numerous pieces about the SFA and SPFL, a great deal of commentary on EBTs and the flaws of the LNS commission. We have had celebrations of our wonderful game, and outright condemnation of the ill-suited people who run it. The blog has discussed racism and intimidation, highlighted vast amounts of hypocrisy and mocked the worse excesses of those who remain in inexplicable thrall to the Ibrox brand. 

There has been commentary on Gordon Strachan’s choices as Scotland manager, and support/ criticism of Ronny Deila. I have covered the McDowall and McCall hilarity at Sevco, the departure of Gnomemeister McCoist and poked endless fun at former City Trader and all-round genius, the respectful Mark ‘Second Tier’ Warburton.

There has even been a song.

I cannot fully express how grateful I am for the support and encouragement I have received. As you can tell, The Clumpany is not a professional writer, and has never had anything published elsewhere. However, I like to think that I have amused, entertained and given cause for reflection as I have gone about my Clumping business.

The top 5 most-viewed blogs were these:

Definitively Pish

The Biggest Lie Of All?

Kirk Broadfoot: Versions Of The Truth

Spare A Thought For Jim Traynor

Sevco! Sevco! Sevco!

My personal favourites were these:

That Lamb You Like Is Going To Come Back In Style

The ‘Shite Talk’

The World Cup Of ‘Liquidation Lies’

An Apology Aboard HMS Sevco

Are You A Moron?

A Busy Day In Old-Firmville

The ‘Bears For Bears’ Appeal

I have no idea whether anyone in the MSM has ever read any of my output (why should they?), but I hope that one day the kind of message I have been peddling starts to sink in. 

Lying about the simple fact of Rangers being liquidated and refusing to engage with some extremely newsworthy possible scandals such as the matters covered by Resolution 12 and the outrageous deficiencies of the LNS Commission is a betrayal of their readers, listeners and viewers, an embarrassment to their profession and a stain on our nation. 

All too often you get the impression that were a cracking story to be put in certain laps, it would be tossed aside because it might cause embarrassment for Sevco or invoke the wrath of its fans. The only thing more outrageous than this is that these folk don’t even seem to care whether large numbers of people know their output is utter bullshit. That’s how much contempt they have for us!

The message from the MSM as a whole seems clear: if you aren’t interested in the recreation of the pre-2012 status quo in Scottish football, we aren’t interested in you.

It’s a disgrace. 

Then there is the appalling attitude of our senior clubs and administrators. Having briefly taken a stand under extreme pressure from fans in 2012, the clubs – including and perhaps especially Celtic – have stood idly by while a snarling recreation of a rule-breaking and creditor-stiffing entity has been allowed to carry on as if Rangers’ liquidation never happened. And without any meaningful sporting sanction being imposed for ruining the game for a decade or more. 

They have also stood idly by while Regan and Doncaster have remained in post. Two folk who would have risked destroying the sport simply to gerrymander Sevco into the top two divisions, and who publicly trashed its reputation with talk of ‘Armageddon’,  ‘slow lingering death’ and ‘social unrest’. 

If the clubs are not prepared to take any action (and I remain of the view that the Celtic board will not act on Resolution 12) then what hope is there for the game?

Does anyone seriously think that if the UK Supreme Court rules in favour of HMRC in the Big Tax Case any sort of title stripping will occur? Or course it won’t! Some clubs may make moves in favour of it, but the authorities will doubtless resist and the MSM will almost certainly mount the mother of all rearguard actions to make sure it doesn’t happen.

There is something fundamentally rotten in the state of Scottish football, and I don’t see it being repaired any time soon. There are too many vested interests wanting to restore the pre-2012 status quo, with a game based entirely around the sickening pantomime of a pretend ‘Old Firm’.

If you are silly enough to spend a single penny on the game before some of the issues I have outlined above are resolved, then that’s your lookout. But just remember that you most certainly aren’t paying to watch a sport.

Enjoy your ‘Old Firm’ Kool-Aid and the mocking laughter of our MSM and football administrators. This is a 21st Century Freak Show and you are the people who keep it in business.

Now run along and be good little cash cows.

See you around.

Kind regards.


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