Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

 Well Done Sevco!


John Terry was wearing a Sevco kit, but was just out of shot
Good Evening. 

Fair play to The Warbmeister. Unlike Gnomemeister McCoist, the Former City Trader has managed to prevail in a cup competition. Well done Mark!

And let us all spare a moment to applaud Lee ‘Not Picked For Scotland Because The Manager Is A Sentient Human Being Who Gives Considerably Less Than One F*ck About Media Wailing’ Wallace. It has been a big day for Captain Career-Choice because he may now be on for a ‘full’ set of Scottish domestic honours. [If he can manage to win the big ones…]. He’s already won the following 

  • Scottish 3rd Division (with Sevco)
  • Scottish League One (with Sevco)
  • Scottish Championship (with Sevco)
  • Petrofac Cup (with Sevco)
  • Bought a Mayfair hotel while playing Monopoly (with Mark Warburton)
  • Banged the side of the vending machine at Murray Park and got two Kit-Kats for the price of one (with free ‘same club’ analogy).

That’s quite a list of triumphs! [NB I nearly called it a ‘roll of honour’ but wasn’t sure if that would risk arrest under some truly ‘remarkable’ legislation].

I am looking forward to the best of our sports media interrupting their sponsored ‘Old Firm-A-Thon’ to bring us gushing coverage of the full magnitude of Sevco and Lee Wallace’s achievements.

I will be looking out for two things in particular:

  • Keith Jackson’s column quoting Paul Murray as saying “our Petrofac glory is down to the Record”; and
  • the Evening Shark-Jump offering a free bottle of ‘John Greig’s Petrofac Tears’ with every paper.

But most of all, I will be looking out for our esteemed MSM maintaining its sense of perspective and self-respect. I have bought a microscope and a telescope to cover all eventualities.

Meanwhile, The Clumpany has something important to impart if you are concerned about the perpetual state of ‘Armageddon’ which characterises the Hampden pitch.  

Apparently the hallowed turf is to be replaced ahead of the Sevco-Celtic Scottish Cup semi-final next week. This will also impact upon another semi-final fixture between two teams with big followings and more history than you can shake a Charles Green soundbite at. However, that doesn’t seem to matter. After all, the MSM gives the impression that only two teams matter in Scotland. Even if one of them is an elaborate fiction. 😉

However, should any Clumpaneers have concerns about the ‘ridge and furrow’ maintenance of the Hampden pitch,  then I suggest that you contact the relevant authority

The relevant authority is NOT the SFA. It is: 


Interestingly enough, the directors of this company include SFA President Alan McRae and SFA Chief Executive Stewart Regan!

Given the amount of adverse MSM publicity about the Hampden pitch today – which repeats numerous previous complaints – perhaps Clyde SSB and the Daily Record etc would like to hound HPL’s directors for an explanation as to why the ‘national’ pitch is so frequently awful?

Failing that, perhaps they could ask HPL if they have magic powers which can make new turf knit together in a few days prior to the Galaxy’s most hyped fixture?

I look forward to hearing about the responses.