Laughing at minor misfortune is one of life’s wonderful little pleasures. Yes, it is extremely petty, but it doesn’t half give you a lift. It is a common and pretty eternal experience.
If you don’t believe me, ask the scientists who have carbon-dated the first season of ‘You’ve Been Framed’ to around 65m BC, when an insect recorded the impact of asteroid which wiped out the dinosaurs. The insect didn’t get £250 for the footage of the collision (which it filmed on a primitive camcorder won on an early episode of ‘Sale of the Century’), but for the short sequence shot prior to the apocalypse when a Stegosaurus looked up at the strange object in the sky and tripped over a log.
So yes, for as long as there has been life on earth, someone coming a cropper in a relatively silly way has always been funny.
And so it was that Sevco’s last-minute failure to be promoted to the Premiership for the first time in its history had me p*ssing my ethereal pants today. All week we have been hearing about the possibility of Sevco going up should they win at Raith and should Hibs manage to slip up. From listening to and reading some of the MSM commentary you would have thought the return of a Messiah was at hand, ready to deliver Scottish football from a fate worse than death. The fact that the death in question was Rangers’ own and that
a) it wasn’t a bad thing at all; and
b) the media won’t admit that it happened anyway
… made the spectacle almost as confusing as it was downright insulting to our intelligence.
If you were a stiffed creditor of Rangers (and if you use any taxpayer-funded UK public services, then you are) you could only look on in bewilderment as most of the MSM banged on about Rangers (sic) ‘returning’ to the top flight following their relegation or demotion in 2012. Facts went completely out of the window, as did any sort of sensitivity to creditors, morality, or Scottish football as a sporting competition. The only thing which seemed to matter was that “Rangers were coming” and that this was apparently a wonderful thing. Whether any sentient human beings in the UK agreed with this relentless assertion was entirely beside the point. A lecture was being offered by the MSM and we were expected to listen to it!
Consequently, when Sevco were 3-2 up and Hibs 2-1 down heading towards the end of their fixtures with Wes ‘England’s No. 500’ Foderingham saving a Raith penalty, the MSM’s Sevco Promotion Party looked set to get underway at the legendary Moral Vacuum A-Go-Go Nightclub.
And then the unthinkable happened. El Alagui equalised for Hibs against St Mirren and Panayiotou scored a 94th minute equaliser for Raith!
The party was off!
I have no doubt that Sevco will get the required points at home to Dumbarton on Tuesday, by which time this past week’s circus will have been repeated, and the shameless liquidation denial will have reached an epic scale. And fair play to Sevco for their achievement (notwithstanding the extraordinary amount of money they have spent climbing the divisions since they were founded in 2012, and the striking amount they now owe).
But what joy to be around and howl with gleeful laughter as the Sevco cheerleader fraternity in our media had tonight’s celebration snatched away from them at the last minute. Thank Heaven that none of them have a Sevconian-style sense of entitlement, otherwise their Special Brew cocktails might just be tasting a little bit bitter.
Nae luck lads!
Meanwhile, I hear that Scotland manager Gordon Strachan has noted the 9 goals shipped in Sevco’s last three games – all of which featured Lee Wallace – and is thinking of hiring a plane to pull a message to his critics across the Glasgow sky. The message simply reads “GIRUY”.