Clumpany Matters, Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

The Clumping Time Directive

Good Morning.

I hope I am not posting this too early or too late in the day. I hope it appears on your screen during permitted hours.

I’ll risk it anyway because there’s a lot of Clumping to be done as the systematic assault on our intelligence intensifies following yesterday’s Sevco-Celtic draw in the Scottish Cup. 

Nonsensical mentions of ‘Old Firm’, ‘rivalries’ and a ‘long-running feud’ are all over the papers today as some writers take the opportunity to party like it’s…. some time before the summer of 2012. And of course there are the usual – more general – liquidation lies such as a mention of Sevco’s “journey back to the Premiership”. 

But my favourite quote about Celtic and Sevco this morning was from Keith Jackson

“The pair of them haven’t been this close for a long time”.

If nothing else, I am grateful to Keith for nailing the reason for Celtic’s dip in form of late. I can only assume from his comment that Celtic have been hanging around the BDO mortuary hoping to catch a glimpse of Rangers, rather than practicing their defending of corners.

In fact, it has been a morning for astonishing revelations. For it has also emerged that the Evening Shark-Jump offers a wider range of coverage than we previously realised:

But I digress. By loitering online at this time of day I risk incurring someone’s displeasure. So I will get to the point.

You may remember that back in November 2015 it emerged that there was a Bampots’ Curfew in place. You can read about it here.

The Bampots’ Curfew 

Yes, it seemed that there were apparently appropriate and inappropriate times in which to read and comment on the news, and to generally socialise on… errr… social media.

Early Saturday mornings were apparently a no-no.

And now it looks as though the curfew has been extended to include Saturday evenings and early Monday mornings!



What is a Bampot to do if they have an idea, a wish to discuss matters on line, or [*gasp*] a desire to point out liquidation denial during the inappropriate hours?

Perhaps we should all just turn the Internet off and only post a second class letter at exactly 12pm on 29 February every 4 years. Or better still, avail ourselves of a time-machine and go back to post those letters some time in 1984… 

I had better sign off now in case I am found to be writing during inappropriate hours. Hopefully I won’t end up in the Court of MSM Disapproval. However, if any apocalyptic calamity should befall me, I guess I can just pretend that it never happened…

Can’t I?


NB If you are aware of any other inappropriate hours for Clumping, please let everyone know on Twitter. But not on Saturday morning and evening, or early on a Monday morning.


One thought on “The Clumping Time Directive

Comments are closed.