Clumpany Matters, Media, Scottish Football, Sevco, World Cup Of Liquidation Lies

Mounting Tension

Good Evening.

Clumpany Towers is a hive of activity as The Clumpany prepares for the conclusion of the World Cup Of ‘Liquidation Lies’ later tonight.

The Sevco Superbus has been hired to bring VIPs to hear the announcement, and it is providing sterling service.

As the event is ‘VIPs only’, Stewart Regan has not been invited. And he wasn’t best pleased when Neil Doncaster broke the news to him.


Regan quickly organised a protest outside Clumpany Towers, demanding that he be allowed to go to the party.

Sorry Stewart!

Meanwhile, Neil Doncaster himself has tried to sneak in by posing as a taxi driver, but I was having none of it.

Charles Green has been making cups of tea for guests as they wait to come in.

 And he has also been showing them the way to their luxury ethereal seats.

Dave King’s war chest was invited but has (strangely) failed to turn up, while Mark Warburton took issue with the invitation not being brought to him by a talking dodo. He said I was being disrespectful and went off to reinvent the wheel, and become the first man to create fire, pursued by an awestruck pack of journalists.

There is a red carpet outside Clumpany Towers, but frankly the guests’ outfits haven’t been up to much. Sevco FC arrived dressed up as Rangers but the fashion critics blasted that ‘look’ saying it was SO four seasons ago”.

There has been a late change of hosts for tonight’s ceremony after the initial choice proved too controversial and expensive. As well as short on laughs.


I am now going to host the ceremony myself, but am hoping to be accompanied by Lord Nimmo Smith who could do his famous ‘Rangers Ceased To Be A Club’ routine which never fails to bring the (Big) House down.

The result of the World Cup Of ‘Liquidation Lies’ should be known shortly after 11pm, by which time the Buckie and Bleach cocktails should have put everyone in a high state of excitement.

Mind you, it is difficult to imagine feeling any more excited than we already are, as we are expecting a very special guest tonight.

In fact, I can see him coming now…

 Yes, here he is…

I wonder if Craig has any words for his adoring fans?

Ooh, it looks like he’s about to tell us his famous ‘Valentine’s Day’ joke. That’s always a brilliant crowd-pleaser…

 I must dash. I have guests to attend to…
But remember, it’s not too late to cast your vote for the World Champion ‘Liquidation Lie’ by following this link. Voting closes at 11pm.

Remember, it’s all just a bit of fun, and…


UPDATE, 11pm 29 February 2016: We have a winner! Click here to find out which is the World Champion ‘Liquidation Lie’.