Media, Scottish Football, Sevco, World Cup Of Liquidation Lies

Semi-Finals: The World Cup Of ‘Liquidation Lies’

Sorry Mr Ogilvie, I’ve got some bad news…
Good Evening.

The World Cup of ‘Liquidation Lies’ is certainly  proving to be the most amazing sporting contest since someone (no one quite knows who…) turned up to play Brechin in the First Round of the Ramsdens Cup on 29 July 2012.

The Quarter-Final draw promised excitement and it didn’t fail to deliver! “Unbroken History” v ‘No Sporting Advantage’ proved to be the closest contest to date, and was on a knife-edge until the final moments.

After almost another 2,500 votes here are the results [with the winners in bold]:

Clubs Put Sevco In The 3rd Division Through ‘Bigotry’ (31%) v (69%) Rangers Were Demoted

Charles Green Bought The ‘History’ (58%) v (42%) Rangers ’Emerged’ From Administration

The Holding Company Was Liquidated (64%) v (36%) The ‘Club’ Is A Metaphysical Construct 

“Unbroken History” (49%) v (51%) ‘No Sporting Advantage’ 

‘Charles Green Bought The History’ was run much closer than in the previous round, but was ultimately untroubled. Many will be sorry to see the ‘Metaphysical Construct’ leave the competition, but it did well to make it this far, being the newest of the 32 ‘Liquidation Lies’ which lined up in the First Round. However, I am sure we will all be guffawing at it for many years to come.

Having scraped through a titanic contest, ‘No Sporting Advantage’ – a snappy little phrase which encapsulates so much bullsh*t – could now take some stopping.

It is good to see ‘The Holding Company Was Liquidated’ make it through to the last four, being a prime example of the awe-inspiring cognitive dissonance upon which Sevco’s entire ‘Rangers’ impersonation is based.

And let us spare a thought for “Clubs Put Sevco In The 3rd Division Through ‘Bigotry’”, an assertion which was so utterly ludicrous and wide-ranging in its reach that even the SFA Compliance Officer showed an interest in it, leading to Charles Green being… errr… ‘censured’.

Let’s get down to business. The Semi-Finalists are as follows:

  1. Rangers Were Demoted
  2. Charles Green Bought The ‘History’
  3. The Holding Company Was Liquidated 
  4. ‘No Sporting Advantage’

The draw has been made, and the fixtures are as follows:

‘No Sporting Advantage’ v Rangers Were Demoted  VOTE

The Holding Company Was Liquidated Charles Green Bought The ‘History’   VOTE

 Blimey! The second Semi-Final line-up would have been worthy of the Final, but at this stage of the competition there are no poor ‘Lies’. 

The ties will be played at a neutral ethereal venue, and have been tweeted. The results will be announced tomorrow night. Please vote and RT! There will be a Third-Place Playoff, purely so I can get to describe one of the entrants as Officially A Third-Rate Lie 😉, followed by the Final…

I can hardly contain my excitement! 

I hope you are managing to get some sleep during this mind-bogglingly amazing time!


UPDATE [10:45pm, 28 February 2016]: The Semi-Final results can be found here.


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