Scottish Cup, Scottish Football, Sevco

Arses and Elbows

Good Evening.

The Clumpany would like to issue a point of clarification to Sevco Galactico James Tavernier. 

That is a knee James. A scratched knee – I’ll give you that. But it isn’t a red card. 

In a footballing context, a red card tends to be a fundamentally paper-based item. I can see how you might have been confused. What with paper being made from trees, and the Sevco Juggernaut’s performance against Kilmarnock yesterday being completely wooden. But I am afraid that that picture is DEFINITELY of a knee. I assume it is your knee rather than that of a stunt double 😉!

Frankly (you don’t mind me calling you Frank, do you?!) I have to ask if we really ‘kneeded’ to see your chat about red cards, because we all know that Kallum Higginbotham got sent off in yesterday’s game. In a shock development Sevco’s Scottish Cup tie happened to be on TV. So we saw the incident in question. And then the replays.

Still, fair play to you. Now we have (what we assume to be) a picture of your scratched knee, it can be put in that extensive pantheon of injuries picked up by footballers who then took a photo of it and made it publicly available without eliciting any guffawing whatsoever…

I am sure that all the greats posed for such portraits rather than simply noting that the person responsible was dealt with by the referee and then getting on with it.

[NB if you are looking in Mr Warbmeister, please refrain from following Mr Tavernier’s example and tweeting a picture of your wounded pride having drawn a blank against Killie. There’s only so much gore and guffaw a Clumpany can stand!]