Media, Sevco

How To Survive A Shark Attack


Not to be confused with Judge Lord Brodie…
Good Evening.

In association with Ethereal Enterpises, The Clumpany presents “The Official Clumpany Blog Starter Kit”. Having paid me a handsome royalty, all you need are:

  • A sense of humour.
  • An ounce of sentience in your brain
  • A passing knowledge of the output of the Evening Shark-Jump newspaper.
  • An acquaintance with today’s MASH v SFA proceedings at the Court of Session (but if you recently crowd-funded @JamesDoleman you should immediately give yourself extra Clumping kudos for bringing a disproportionate amount of rage into some Sevconian lives 😉).
  • Familiarity with recent events surrounding the Herald Group, Graham Spiers and Angela Haggerty, and the subsequent statements issued by the National Union of Journalists.
  • An appreciation of the apparent high-profile promotion of minor events. 
  • A bottle of Buckfast Tonic Wine
  • A bottle of Domestos [NB not supermarket ‘own brand’ bleach. Let’s keep things classy…]; and
  • These screen shots, together with the stories behind them…


[Or alternatively this (literally) shark-jumping masterpiece from @Arsene_Parcelie…]





Now get to work! And if all else fails, you can laugh at the Record instead!