Media, Sevco

Olympic-Standard Guff

Good Evening.

On 5 July 2005 thousands of people gathered in Trafalgar Square to await news of whether London had been awarded the right to host the 2012 Olympics. You all know what happened next: London defeated Paris by a narrow margin. The triumph was major news, and was plastered across newspapers, TV channels and radio stations. And the excitement of millions of people was palpable. 

The Olympics were still seven years away, but that didn’t matter. Euphoria was the order of the day.

Fast-forward to 2016, and an even more remarkable headline-grabbing development has taken place. One which also has a sell-by date seven years’ hence.

Yes folks! Sevco have announced that they have given notice to end their retail contracts with Sports Direct!

Woohoo! And this blow for freedom is across all the Scottish media. Because a football ‘club’ terminating contacts with a partner IN SEVEN YEARS’ TIME is clearly a jaw-dropping development.

I am sure His Big Mikeness is reeling at the sight of a 7-year-long slow-motion ‘punch’ heading his way. And the question on everyone’s lips this evening is whether he will manage to stop laughing in time to dodge this ‘blow’. A blow which might ultimately have as much impact as throwing a custard pie at a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

For as the Evening Shark-Jump reports:

“The Gers* chairman has vowed that neither he nor the club will be bullied by the billionaire businessman as the lengthy feud has escalated once again in recent months.”

And as The Man Who Stands Up To Ashley – Dave ‘Cunning Plan’ King – explained himself:

“The Club has formally given notice to end the relationship with Sports Direct while still reserving our right to proceed with challenges to the existing suite of contracts and side agreements in a court of law.”

“For the first time a Board of this Club has stood up to the threats of Sports Direct and has achieved resounding success in court proceedings including the substantial recovery of legal costs.”

“Sports Direct’s motives were severely exposed when a High Court judge ruled that Sports Direct abused court processes in its attempt to bully the Club and me.”

“We will continue to put Rangers first and ensure that we get redress and compensation for the poor commercial and business practices that the Club has been forced to endure.”

Chris Jack does not report whether Mr King was actually waving a handbag in a pugnacious manner when uttering those words, but it’s a nice image to ponder.

Nor did we get to hear whether the Sevco chairman was still impaled by the Zulu spear which was almost mentioned in Gary Ralston’s remarkable recent tale of how King single-handedly preserved the Imperial Honour of Her Majesty Queen Victoria at Rorke’s Drift. Or something…

I assume that this was the same Gary Ralston who penned one of The Clumpany’s favourite ever pieces about Dave King ‘taking on’ His Big Mikeness: 

That Lamb You Like Is Going To Come Back In Style

What a hero! Perhaps King should get a medal? If not an Olympic one, how about one for ‘Gallantry In Staunchly Repaying A £5m Loan That He Previously Suggested Wasn’t Really A Loan’?

Now that really did display a conquering spirit where Sports Direct is concerned…



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